hi my name is tanya im 27 years old,with two sons age 3 and 6. 6 months ago april 9th ,was the worst and most horrific day of my life ,and something i will never get over or truly cope with. I went out at 1230 took my two sons with me,we were simply going to a supermarket to get some food and would be out around 2 hours at the very most. As left that day my fiance was very quiet,he had always had issues,but i never knew to what extent. I walked out the door,looked at my fiance in his eyes,and said see you later,smiled and closed the doorthis was the last times out eyes ever met. At around 1 30pm i came home walked throught the front door,with my children,chatting normally then i noticed the curtains in my living room were closed...it was early afternoon,i thought maybe my fiance was having a nap on the sofa,as i walked into the living room i looked to my left,and there was my finace hanging <mod edit: bunny - methods> I can honestly say,the feeling was un explainable,i screamed so loud,i panicked i tugged at his neck it was so tight,but more than anything my fiance's tongue was hanging out his mouth,it was purple,i ran to my neighbours the police and abmulance were called,and he was still alive,and rushed away,this gave me hope,i really believed he would be ok,but just as i got to the hospital ,the policeman turned to me and told me my fiance had died. My heart has been totally broken,my soul destroyed,i feel guilt,anger,depression,anxiety,im ill all the time,i close my eyes and see my gorgeous fiance in his coffin,cold ...dead. This may seem graphic,but really want people to know just what suicide does to the people left behind. I miss my fiance everyday i sit and sob,i look around i imagine him there,i look at the dinner table hes gone,he doesnt cuddle me at night,he doesnt smile at me when he gets in from work,my children have no dad ,i lost the love of my life..i was with him since i was 17. Please ,i know lifes hard,i know more than many,as my dada also hung himself wen i was 20,but your not just killing yourself....he killed me too...inside.