For anyone who wants to start over

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ultrameatball, Oct 7, 2007.

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  1. ultrameatball

    ultrameatball Member

    My life has been destroyed. Some of it due to self-chosen isolation and some of it due to the risks of life / lady-luck. I cannot and will not continue living like this nor is there anything from my life that is salvageable. I have two options.

    A) Die
    B) Move, start a new job, make new friends, find/develop new family, and build a life.

    I have planned and nearly prepared for A) and naturally its not the most attractive option. For B), I have the resources to make it happen, but I cannot do it alone. I need friends to do it with. If there is anyone in the same boat then please let me know (it doesn't matter how little or many). Perhaps we can all do B) together.
  2. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    Dude....B)! Definitly B)! B) B) B) B)! Go man, GO! :yes:
  3. MrBill

    MrBill Active Member

    Definately go with plan b. I'd like to join you in that, I've had similar thoughts. Though with the real estate slump, moving is not an option without deserting my condo, so I personally am working on the rest of the list. It's not easy, but we can do it.
  4. mb75

    mb75 Well-Known Member

    Plan B for sure!!!! if i had the resources I'd do it too, would have done it long ago.... Do it now
  5. Sephaus

    Sephaus Well-Known Member

    Before death, plan B might be worth a shot.I'm dying to leave my current city/ country, and just to get a fresh start on everything, but to be honest I would just be attempting to escape from myself, but all my inner turmoil would still remain, and I would still remain on the brink of self termination. So for myself, plan B really can't work, but since you have the resources, definitely go for it. Best of luck!
  6. rocknrollsuicide

    rocknrollsuicide Well-Known Member


    I did plan B with the exception of the family thing.
    Friends I lost them.
    Job lost it too. Struggling a great deal getting in the job market again after two months of desperate search and countless interviews.
    Moving I moved - went to live in a foreign country for the past 10 years.

    Since you have the resources go for plan B.

    As far as I'm concerned plan A will be my option if a job opportunity does not materialize by the end of this fucking month.
    Then goodbye fucking world for good.

    No regrets other than saying "drop dead" to those who hurt me throughout this shit hell of 2007 and wish them the same crap that happened to me.

    Good luck with plan B.
  7. ultrameatball

    ultrameatball Member

    It sounds like I have generated some interest!

    WhyMeWhy, thanks for the encouragment :). Are you in this type of situation?

    MrBill, today might be your lucky day (and mine too). I've sold my house, I am turning in my letter of resignation tomorrow (don't worry I am not in the least hard up for cash), and I am rearing to go. I understand that a condo on the market during a housing slump is not the easiest thing to deal with. I would be happy to work with your schedule and timings.

    mb75, I am sorry you don't have the resources to join and I appreciate the the encouragment. Should your situation change, don't hesitate to jump in.

    Anyone else reading: The more the merrier.
  8. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    And thus.... the seed of doubt has been planted?

    I'm not buying it. Situations differ greatly from person to person.

    Yes, although my situation may be just a bit more complicated..... I still vote B). :yes:
  9. ultrameatball

    ultrameatball Member

    Sephaus, I am sorry to hear that plan B) wouldn't work out for you. I think it only works if you have a genuine desire to move on with a clean slate and a positive attitude... and as you implied, inner turmoil might work against that.

    rocknrollsuicide, I am sorry to hear your plan B) didn't work out due to job circumstances. I am in the U.S. and I am willing to relocate anywhere with the exception of out-of-country (well maybe Canada would be ok) and of course my present whereabouts.
  10. ultrameatball

    ultrameatball Member


    Welcome aboard :). I think you, Mr. Bill, and myself should start some offline communications. Ping me at my newly formed email address:

    All, the door of course remains open, lets help each other start over!
  11. rocknrollsuicide

    rocknrollsuicide Well-Known Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 8, 2007
  12. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    Taken Way too seriously. Merely pointing out that you were the only negative answer to a thread that remained the utmost of positivity........... letting others know my beliefs....... for this reaction you should never have posterd AT ALL IN THIS THREAD
  13. ultrameatball

    ultrameatball Member


    We are all stressed from our current situations and we don't always interpret each other correctly when information is going through heavy emotional filtering. I want this thread to attract people in similar circumstances so we can do B) together. I NEED this as it is the only way I can do it and my life essentially on the line.

    So, I appreciate your experience, your support, and would ask you to let any misinterpretations between yourself and WhyMeWhy go as I really don't want flame wars to distract from my intent.
  14. MrBill

    MrBill Active Member

    I sent you an email ultra. If whymewhy comes on board feel free to share my email address. maybe we can figure something out.

  15. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    ultra, i think plan B is an awesome idea

    i have just recently (in Jan) embarked on plan B, i left everything behind, my home, my family, my bf(the love of my life), my friends, my pets...
    i had absolutely no resources and not really a clear plan of what i was going to do to be honest, i had made the descision in the hopes that everything would work out.
    fortunately things have turned out alright so far, i managed to get a job after a month of struggling, my bf decided to join me after 3 months, and little things are always improving day by day

    i just have to say, it is not for the feint-hearted, it takes a lot of guts which i did not think i had but i cant say that running away from anything really helps. it sounded really great to me in theory but in reality there are certain things that will always follow you no matter where you go.

    If it is something that you really believe in your heart then i say go for it & good luck. :cheer:
  16. ultrameatball

    ultrameatball Member


    Thanks for sharing your story of a difficult and yet successful B). You are braver than me to do that on your own (no resources or plan to boot!) and it sounds like some elements of your old life were salvageable.
  17. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Definitely go with plan B my friend!!!
  18. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    ultrameatball, by nature, there is a fatal flaw in plan A). In fact, plan A) IS the fatal flaw.

    Ask yourself whats wrong with plan B). Pretty much everything is wrong with plan B).

    Whilst living by numbers - in your case by alphabet - is tempting and offers a poetically linear approach of solving problems, it is bound to fail.

    Leaving A) on the wayside, what makes you think you can just leave behind a big chunk of your life and not being haunted by your memories? You are not just a succession of stop and go errors, seemingly at will being able of erasing your mind and start again with a tabula rasa...

    You are the summary of everything you have ever done in your life, you are the cause and the effect of your actions.....

    Physically removing yourself from one place, thinking that you are the one who may just pull off what millions of others are also trying desperately to do...frankly, this idea is as old as the fight or flight response.

    It is plan C) !! Face whatever needs to be facing, stand proud and honest because your actions right now do have the power to heal or destroy. Whether it is you or your loved ones, whether it is your foes or your friends, right now your decisions are altering lives forever.

    So, plan A) is a (tempting, alluring,...) dead end.
    Plan B) has been tried by millions and succeeded by only the richest and most unscrupulous. For us, it remains an escapist illusion....

    Plan C) is the most painful for now.....but it is up to you and you alone as to how long this 'now' lasts.

  19. ultrameatball

    ultrameatball Member

    Thanks Dave!
  20. ultrameatball

    ultrameatball Member

    Well duh :rolleyes:

    That is the wrong question. What I should be asking is what is right with plan B)?

    If I were to do it alone it would fail.

    I can't eliminate my memories but I can remember the good ones and make new ones that are even better.

    Well duh again :) :rolleyes:

    I am a point of sentience in the universe. I am a mammal. I am... many things.


    I've faced what needs to be faced for nearly 2 years. One thing that people might not always understand is that there is a point where the fight has diminishing returns and there is nothing to salvage.

    Well... yes... it is exactly that... a dead end.

    Plan B) is tricky. You really have to do it for the right reasons.

    Diminishing returns and nothing to salvage. As optimistic and ideal as what you are saying is, reality does have limits.
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