For God's Sake Someone Help Me

[swimmergirl]

I don't want to do it, but I am going to do it tonight, it is storming outside tonight, which is symbolic of the tempest in my mind, I just want calm and to stop the suffering, and if death is my only option, then so be it. If this is the end for me, then farewell to those who find the strength or help from others to make their lives less painful, I am envious of you and wish I was so lucky, but time has proven that I am not worthy of such help or strength, this is for the best.

 

[gentlelady]

Death is not the only answer swimmergirl. often times we feel as if our lives are in turmoil, and they might very well be, but if you wait for the turmoil to calm things improve to the place where we are no longer so overwhelmed. Do not make any life altering decisions when your mind is in this state. Tell us what is going on for you and let us do what we can to find those options that allow you to hang on until the tempest subsides. :hug:

 

[swimmergirl]

I want someone to help control the intense pain I feel, if I was physically in this much pain wouldn't someone find out what is wrong, try to help me, try to lessen the pain, i can't do it all by myself, i just want so fucking help!!!!!!

 

[Robin]

I can understand how you feel mayhaps for different reasons maybe. My mind was always in such turmoil and still is depending on the circumstances however when I am home and unstressed there is a calmness inside me that helps me deal with the issues in my life. Took me the best part of 30 years to find it but nevertheless it is here now and the wait does not seem so long in hindsight.

 

[swimmergirl]

I am just going to take a bunch of xanax and hopefully that will calm me down for a good long time. If I can't killy myself, then I will just become addicted to something that at least temporarily kills the pain. What a shitty way to live though.

 

[Citizen]

Don't do that. I just started NarcAnon meetings this week. Using meds or drugs to mask your pain will only make things get worse. You are right, its an extremely horrible way to live. having to search for a score so you don't have to face the pain. I've been clean for two days. Its not fun. I'm having to deal with alot of pain now, and yes, suicide crosses my mind for than food does.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

Can't anybody who lives with you or parents help you. Also you should see a specialist as well if you can.

 

[swimmergirl]

I live alone, my parents are the reason I am in so much pain, and I am afraid to tell anyone about what I feel and am thinking of doing to myself. My biggest fear is that they will do nothing to help, and that would kill me to have been that vulnerable for nothing.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

You won't know if your parents will help you if you don't try to call out for help.

Have you told anyone at all about your pain and whats causing it.

 

[swimmergirl]

I don't know what to tell anyone, I don't want them to be upset. I just want someone to do it for me, I am not able to ask for what I need right now, i just can't

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

People will be more upset if you don't tell them and things escalate out of control.

Describe the pain? is it physical or mental.