For guys who don't have or have had few girlfriends...

Part #1

Ok listen up, I'm kinda sick and tired of seeing all the whining about not having a girlfriend when in reality most of these people rarely go out and are so cowardly, self conscious and timid that they did this to themselves unknowingly or semi-knowingly, and I'm not going to pretend that it's all their fault because many times school, parents and society fucks us up real bad and couldn't give a shit about us. So I'm here to tell you my story: (it's long so be prepared).

I'd like you to really listen because I have many years on many of you, and not only that: I spent my a decade researching issues using the internet day and night 24/7 for years on end in my down period. So please don't disregard this.

I grew up to parents who were workaholics, they are not bad people but they were retarded in terms of parenting. My dad was greek and my mother is american, they own a small business that consumed all their time in the early years, I went to school had decent enough time socializing in public school but was overweight most of my life which severely effected my self-esteem and made me a target for bullying, which wasn't too bad since I was friends with all the guys as a buffer, it was just something we did, fought, played, played ball tag, and teased the shit out of each other but we genuinely got along.

The next problem was that my mother was a christadelpian (http://www.thechristadelphians.org/) fundamentalist nutcase who thought she'd try brainwashing her kids to 'give them morals' which backfired big time. I was so indoctrinated and fucked up by Christianity by the time I was 10 I wanted to kill myself and made my first attempt on my life because I couldn't understand the psychotic behavior of the old testament god, that just made me angry and want to kill that dirty egotistical motherfucker. Which was heart wrenching for someone who's struggling with the psychological damage that had been done from being taught about a false non existent god.

In the back of my mind I had some faint sense religion was all bullshit but I was too immature to face up to it and there was the cultural pressure, and not to mention appealing aspects of moving onto a better life after death that so many human beings drug themselves with over our (humanities) fucked up history in this fucked up world because this world often times is such a hell hole with mediocre egotistical individualists, I'd have to say that western culture in general is highly materialistic, capitalistic and non-egalitarian, a basically barbaric. The more educated and wealthy people become, the more prejudiced and discriminating they get it seems. But anyway thats getting off point.

Anyway by the time I hit 12-13 I was going through puberty and had an interest in girls but was totally clueless about going about socializing with them, at school dances I got the "pity dance", in high school things just fell apart completely having to be forced into classes with other fucked up kids whose sole purpose in life is to make your life hell.

I lost contact with all my public school friends and found a couple new ones but they were basically the social rejects or "nerdy types" they weren't nerds as in unlikable, many people liked them, they just weren't into the whole highschool social scene.

Without a girlfriend and being overweight, my self esteem and self image became so distorted that I simply gave up, I was afraid of girls AND guys, just afraid to approach them and talk to them because I was naive and partly also because I had no strong natural interest in socializing because I have aspergers which I didn't find out until 19 after I made my suicide attempt at 17 and was hospitalized, basically I am more interested in things then people, like intellectual topics or what many people might consider 'work',

I have never felt lonely accept for the natural urge for female companionship, and even then I find relationships bothersome to maintain because I am so magnetically drawn to reading books and learning because I want to write and solve social problems and at least describe what I see as the fundamental problems in society that eventually have to be left behind in the dustbin of history.

So during late public school and highschool I sought refuge and escapism in video games and in searching for questions and answers in apologetics and other people on the net, basically wasting my time as a kind of catharsis for not really enjoying existing in this world full of what amounts to uncaring selfish barbarians. I feared having to go to work once I got out of school, work seemed like a death sentence to my freedom to do what I want to do and learn what I want to learn.

I struggled also because I had such a conflicted nature, as a young kid I wanted to save everyone and help people but at the same time I couldn't understand their barbaric behaviour towards one another that made me so angry and so heartbreaking that it grates on you spirit and character... that most human beings carry all the biobehavioural bagge of an evolutionary past with them and thats why the world is filled with war, bloodshed, greed and barbary. Capitalist society is one step above all out slavery but not that much better because the rich people still own everyone else through keeping and controlling privately necessary resources the public (food, etc) needs and simply having a monopoly on the money supply and societies most profitable assets.

When people talk about human nature, what they really mean is human NATURE(S) with a S, not all people are of the same nature so trying to paint everyone as having the same basic nature is stupid. Some of us are simply born nice loving people who feel this world is like a violaton of their good nature because their's so much bad shit to deal with, the good parts of you slowly decay, become poisoned, so you become kind of 'spiritually sick', in that I mean emotionally and psychologically unhealthy because most other people are as well. Society is still majorly fucked up and there's a lot of work to be done yet still.

Anyway after I attempted suicide at 17 I lost my fear of death completely and my psychology would be forever changed, its the hardest thing I've had to do in my life because we are all programmed with instincts to protect us but they can also distort our reality and thinking. I downed a bunch of poison right in front of my mother after I skipped school (again) because I was fucking miserable out of my mind, I had no girlfriend, was overweight, had lost my goals based around my religious dream my mother indoctrinated me with, and was basically run ragged at that point. I started becoming spiteful and bitter inside and started hating human beings, and at some level I still do: I have a word for them, I call current generation human beings barbarians, because they still essentially are.

But that was not the whole truth, why are humans barbaric in terms of their behavior toward others? That was one of the things I studied for a long time and came to the conclusion that people are victims of their own biology, running a nervous system and brain designed for a world that no longer exists, and this causes massive false perception and distortion and confusion in how you view and perceive the world. But my distaste for people when I was older from my teens on, was NOT ME at all when I was a kid, as a kid I was the total opposite although I didn't get along with everyone I wanted to. Even though I was socially anxious around new people and wasn't very socially assertive. As I got older I became less and less social as depression started coming on after I became overweight in the middle of public school (around gr 4).

The real problems were lack of female companionship as stress reliever, and basically a buffer against suicide and depression, but I was too fucked up by religion still from the whole cultural alienation that ensued.

After I attempted suicide, by some miracle of luck at around 17 pushing 18 I found a girlfriend over the internet playing a multilayer game, who lived in toronto who was twice my age and wasn't at all ugly (a fucking miracle). Somehow I charmed her into giving me her number and then I went down to meet her in the city and we hit it off immediately, I fucked her that night and she told me I gave the best head she ever had, and I could tell too because she was gushing everywhere... so that was a huge confidence booster once I had my first girlfriend who was 32 and I only being 17. I bussed down every weekend or every other weekend and we spent a lot of time together because we shared the same interests and we really had a thing going on.

Then I fucked it up...

How did I fuck it up?? during this time I put on 40 fucking pounds over two years since my depression wasn't fully gone because I was worried about which direction I should take to get a job and school had crushed my will to learn or even want to get a job because I didn't want to be around people because they were basically retarded barbarians (especially in the work place) and I hated the feeling of being dominated by some business type bossy prick, and I've had my fair share of those people in my life.

Back to the weight... She met me when I was 190 and I'm 5'11, and then I ballooned up to 230 by the time the relationship was over 2 years later.... so how did I fuck up my relationship?

Let me tell you the ways... the biggest problem was: I had become socially isolated and anxious ever since the highschool administration forced me to take homeschooling at 17 and not come back to highschool, they basically gave me a free pass out of highschool with 6 'maturity' credits (which mean nothing since they were free) but I wasn't complaining, Not to mention I was full blown suicidal at this time and wasn't planning to live really, I was toying with suicide constantly even through my relationship with this wonderful woman.

I told her I had aspergers and she didn't believe me, but then it slowly started dawning on her over the 2 year period of seeing each other that when we went out I wasn't socially like everyone else, I was fairly quiet and disinterested, I wasn't really excited to go out to bars or meals and drinks, because what they had to talk about was ineffably boring, work this, relationship that... it's like don't you people want to make society better? Why spend your time just chit chatting about what amounts to nothing? I was more interested in politics, political structure, economics, ethics, cultural morality (and my morality, I mean flexable, inclusive morality, not the rigid religious type).

Anyway it slowly dawned on her that once she took me outside her apartment I would freeze up or slow down socially and become anxious around others and this bothered her but she never spoke up, but then the straw that finally broke the camels back was when me, he and her sister were going to a public pool to swim and I became so anxious and fearful while they went into swim I just waited outside... I was so self conscious about my looks and weight to the point if inanity, I severely unhealthy in terms of self-image and self respect still... so after this event things slowled started cooling off between me and her even though we had a really good break, we still loved each other deep down and you can just know it and see it in the persons eyes and words because you spent so much time together, she even entertained the idea of getting back together briefly but then she realized I was just too different and she was getting old and wanted kids and didn't want to wait for me to develop as a man who had some growing pains.

After we broke up I was really frustrated because alhough we had technically a good breakup, after that she invited me to her cottage with her family which ended up being a total disaster, I was bored out of my mind and she slept around me in her underwear and skimpies and I just wanted to spend some time getting close, snuggling and have some 'goodbye sex' but she wasn't having any of that, and I felt that was painfully cruel thing to do to someone you care about!

But I realized she had a history of sexual abuse (which she never told anyone but me until that point) so I wasn't so hard on her after the event that summer at the cottage had passed.

After that I pretty much decided the world wasn't for me and self-isolated completely from work and society in my parents house for 7 years straight, with brief stints between jobs during the summer for a few years during that 7, which were for the most part constant reminders of how fucked up society is.

Anyway during this seven years I basically read the internet, researched, and pursued my interest to the full, it was like being a buddist monk on a kind of spiritual journey you don't know you're on... at that point I had loved someone and I still wasn't happy with life so I figured there must be some deeper issue inside me that I didn't understand so I spent a lot of time thinking, writing, etc. It was very helpful and cathartic, I basically started writing my own biography because I thought I owe it to others like myself that they aren't alone and 'you are not the first to have had such a life, or such problems', not to mention all the solutions discovered to which I tried and they worked but I still wasn't happy at all and still was miserable and didn't understand why it was....

(character limited)

 

Part #2

It took a long time but finally at the age of 27 again as a result of my meagure effort (since I wasn't looking for a date or companionship at this point, just liked seeing who thought I was attractive or interesting) this time I put myself dating sites like mate1, lavalife, etc. I talked to women to get a bit better socializing (at least through IM), many women and I had great conversations but and they always wanted to meet me afterwards or keep in touch because they felt a strong draw towards me since I can express myself so well via text unlike in real life, so my pure essence comes across correctly and without baggage of poor motor control, clumbsiness, anxxiousness, etc.

I met a girl who was very much like myself accept without the social problems she seemed very normal, and we hit it off really good emailing each other back and forth for over a month and then she whoed up at my house driving from the states to where I live in canada, a whopping 10 hour drive from where she lived to come and meet me... after I told her I was on disability living with my parents, etc, after all that she still came up to meet me.

I can tell you it was an earth shattering experience let me tell you, it was like I was reborn after I met her, dormant social systems in my mind became active for the first time in my life, if only vaugely and slightly for abouth a month after we spent a great week together... for all stuff she said about being normal, I found out she lied, she was poor in a miserable job and basically had issues (not extreme as mine) with depression and suicidality,

It was so rare meeting what amounted to like a twin sister from the country next store. This was what I had needed my entire life, someone who could just understand the shit I was going through and didn't judge me. She just understood the pain intuitively, the depression all of it, without much having to be said. We spent the days talking, laughing, making out, having sexx, eating and taking pictures.

It was one of the best times in both are lives, she even told me that, when she finally left to go back to the states it was like part me was leaving, after she left to go back the next week I analyzed what had just happened and I found out something very VERY IMPORTANT... my natural state I had felt all my life had changed, I had never felt this new state of positive bodily sensory existence, as a default state (i.e. just how people feel normally when not doing anything in particular) for the first time in my life. She was the only person I had ever met that made me regret not keeping going and giving up way to early on finding love or someone else thinking "I knew better..." the point is of course I didn't know SHIT. I was so locked in my mental universe and clueless about the BIOLOGICAL BASIS of my misery and depression that it distorted everything about who I was, I was not the real me, I was the me in pain and that why I came across as so negative to people and generally self deprecating and self hating, I could find no psychological joy from being around others because my psychological reward model doesn't work like others (because of aspergers, or so the experts would like to think anyway, but the reward system is different that I know for sure), all o this on top of issues with my nervous system.

I had figured out that there was a problem with my nervous system and/or metabolism (I use metabolism only because I've been reading studies by McGill suicide research group and they think there's a possible connection) that did not work like other peoples, so my natural state was one of a kind of faint pain, constant physical stress an agitation and misery, I didn't realize this until I met her and it triggered some biological and chemical response in the brain and throughout the bodies systems that temporarily reversed what I had been born into from birth, after meeting her I realized I had been stimulated, I had had fun, but I had never experienced *true joy*, or what other people feel naturally in their 'default state' in my entire life.

I WAS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE and it was biological to boot


After this experience I researched the internet furiously trying to get my mind around just what the fuck happened, I wanted to keep this new state of existence... this new feeling state I had NEVER once experienced in my life until I met this girl, I was born into a body that was basically in pain from day one and I had no frame of reference to know any better. But as it was but I felt my natural painful state slowly coming back month after I met her, as the effects of what was released into my system by her triggering some biological response faded due to her living in the states and us simply talking but not being physically near one another, hearing her voice is faintly healing but it simply didn't have the same effect as being with her physically, etc.

I have to say I have never wanted anything so bad in my entire life as the effects that this girl has on my nervous system. I had *never* felt what I felt as a result of this girl before in my entire life.

After this I was very motivated to find someone else like her closer to home and could deal with my quirks as I worked on becoming more socialized and ignoring the negative feedback of my nervous system, now that I knew that what my body was telling me was false to begin with because of some error of inheritance or flaw from I now not what... I began doubting all my negative thoughts completely. I had began exercising for 4 hours a day straight 7 days a week before I had met her for a month and a half, when I met her I had only lost 15 lbs from 200 so I was 185, not thin but not obsese etiher. I ultimately lost 40 lbs in 4 months and was finally able to see how handsome I was as everyone started commenting on how good I looked IMMEDIATELY, I would get comments everywhere I went, it was like I was living in a different world...

Lesson learned: Being fat all my life had repelled people like no ones business and I didn't give a shit how I looked because I bought into all that crap that I was 'above' that kind of shit, it's not the be all and end all, but it does say one thing to people: You care enough about yourself and in how your appearance and your health.

I showed that girl I met the pic after I had lost another 25 lbs and she was floored, she was like "I want you now!" hilarious. It was like I was living in the fucking twilight zone.

So after all this I began dating fiercely and aggresively, chatting up stranges in malls and practicing social skills using scripts or "routines" as they are known in the pickup community (google: Mystery method, venusian arts, david deangelo, etc)

And I begun hanging out on mysteries forums, man that place is a fucking GOLD MINE, I basically read a bunch of threads and used some of the lines and a tiny bit of stories for my next first date...

I met a christian girl who was fairly pretty, and we had a lot to talk about because of the whole religion bit (I thought going for a christian girl would at least give me something to talk about, even though I had long since rejected christianity at 17-18'ish), I basically lied my pants off to this girl about believing in god and yadda yadda. Thats another thing you learn too, lying a little bit is ok and is necessary sometimes if you plan to live a sane life, life revolved around arosing others and making them feel good and connected to you.

On our first date I only used some basic stuff, and the rest was all me since we had a lot in common simply from me having been in a place of deep faith, a place where she was of course was still a part of me even if it was the old me. We talked for what seemed like hours on our first date and I ended up kissing her and just going for it and she simply let me! We were almost naked after the first date for christ sakes, I had taken this deeply religious girl to the heights of passion within a mere couple of hours, next date we messed around a little bit but she was getting all nervous about her religious morality but she still gave me blowjob, handjob, etc, her lust got in the way she must have been REALLY attracted to me, since I had lost all that god damn weight, girls seemed willing to bend the rules to fuck my brains out now.

Lesson learned? When you give up or act like a snob, and mock pickup material, you are basically rejecting people who have lived your life and have had the same experiences but turned their life around because they didn't give in to despair or their misery.

Now for a more serious issue, after all this I still had issues with depression since I had since come to realize that I was biologically in a kind of permanent misery that I would either 1) Have to learn to live with or 2) Put myself out of my misery... and either way, despite this forums want to help suicidal people, I believe sometimes it's ok to let go of life when you know the reality of your situation as sad as that may be to people here, it doesn't always get better' because many times our own misery is caused by simply being born into a body that doesn't experience pleasure and joy to the same degree as others its, the stimulation, pleasure and joy is overwhelmed by agitation, like a constant poison in you veins and a heavy ball and chain you're dragging around with you but can never be rid of since it's your own bloody body.

But message is: Don't give up on yourself, the biggest problem with me was that I was timid, spiteful, cowardly, and didn't realize that I was a seriously negative and unfun person to be around, I don't enjoy things most other people do, I'd rather be reading, surfing the net, or playing video games then socializing BUT... I all the reasons now for why this is, I do these things because they are low stress, low effort, low key activities, because applying physical effort to go out an socialize is often stresful and energy draining for me but I do it now anyway and you will adjust over time given enough practice and persistence....

The biggest thing is to KEEP SEARCHING even if you don't know what it is you need but do take the time to self reflect and introspect into yourself, I found out that what I needed was a social circle of good friends to keep me from falling back into isolation and losing the social skills I gained and to keep watch on my 'obsessions' (really just extreme interest) in things because I find things so fascinating I can sit in front of a computer for hours and read pages of scientific articles, books, news, slashdot, digg, etc, because I am an information addict.

I you to know that you may have a hard life but don't think you're all out there alone, and also just because you get a girlfriend WILL NOT suddenly change your underlying depression if you have deeper issues, you may eventually bore of her, or maybe neglect her, or some other random event happens. The key thing is though it's your choice, you chose how to respond to the situation, and life or death, I respect your decision because life is not a bowl of cherries and though I admire peoples pro-life stance on suicide I think they are a little Utopian on the matter not understanding that some people seriously have biological issues with happyness its not just 'all in your head' what a crock of shit.

So what is the moral of this story? Don't fuckin give up you stupid prick, especially if you're young, I gave up way too early and it effected my whole life because I was in pain my personality an thinking was so distorted, I now look at grumpy or miserable people with new eyes and wonder if they have some problem with their body and nervous system as well possibly other 'mind' issues. With a lot of compassion and understanding from my ordeal.

I don't anything that has happened to me because I learned things so valuable that I can use it to reach others and help them, and that just who I am.

 

I admit I skimmed through a lot of this, but I think I've noticed the main point(s) of the thread, I can relate to some of what you say, I too get fed up about posts of not having a girlfriend. There's no way that on its own should make anyone depressed, it's more likely to be other issues that are causing the depression and getting a girlfriend isn't necessarily going to solve it all, for sure. Just because other people have got girlfriends doesn't mean you're any worse than them.

 

How am I ever supposed to enjoy sexual intercourse when I am allergic to sweating? Or let alone interacting with other people when the resulting stress alone causes me to sweat and break out in hives? There really is no point any more.

 

I actually read it all, and it was completely unhelpful. My situation is far too different from yours. Also, finding a girlfriend, and that would be, my true love, IS the only thing that would end my depression. It is all I live for, and generally, it is when I start doubting the existence of true love, that I start feeling suicidal. I'm not going to share my story, since I've already told it; anyone interested can search for my old posts. I hate repeating myself.

Also, it is sickening to see you saying it is okay to lie to get a girlfriend or sex. That is absolutely sickening.

 

It's a pity that you feel this way, I could try and persuade you otherwise but I'm not sure it would be helpful. I do agree that it is wrong to lie to get a girlfriend, didn't actually read that bit but unfortunately people aren't always straight and honest when it comes to relationships.

 

No, it wouldn't "help," but thanks for the thought, I suppose.

If I don't find my girl before I'm thirty, I'm definitely killing myself. Not only are you getting too old, when you're thirty, but it's too long to wait, too. I'm currently 26, reaching 26 and a half. A few years left, still... I've already previously planned, killing myself before I turned 26, but I felt it was too early. But time definitely has started running out... I can't be without that wonderful girl... all I live for is finding her, so I can have wonderful sex with her, constantly... that is all I live for... sex all the time, with my true love, dying young, together, and then, together in death, for all eternity, continuing doing that very thing, which is all that matters.

 

Hmmmm...it is hard when you're in your twenties, I can vouch for that. But it's a bit worrying that people say they want to kill themselves just for not having a girlfriend??? Although my own opinion is that it's more of a self-esteem issue that is the underlying cause of depression.
But if it's what you want, try working on aspects of your own personality that will make you more attractive to girls, and read up on self-help books and internet. I have never had a girlfriend and yes I am in my 30s now, and I'd far rather be single than be in an unhappy relationship which too many people are. Learning to love yourself is the most important thing whether you're single or not, it's not easy sometimes mind.

 

You're an AFC, you should head to sosuave.net right now and hang around the forums, and by the way I wasn't done posting, those are my first #2 posts in this thread, the third one with the HELP was coming.

Tell me what your major problem is? And as for lying: you're looking for absolute values in a world where people are internally conflicted, most people on earth lie, I used to be like you, I hated when people lied to me, but guess what? Most people lie to themselves and everyone around them everyday, what are religious people for instance if not the biggest liars on the planet and they make up the majority in many places?

I've been burned so many times I lost count, and guess what? I lost $5000 to my best friend from highschool, I bailed him out of debt when his girlfriend came pleading to me and now the yare married and haven't paid me back and its been almost 5 years! I thought of taking them to court (which I might still do) but I gave them a 4 year window to start paying be back, but they haven't so, I'm probably going to take them to court.

If you read what I said then you know that that girl that came up LIED TO ME but it's no big deal... you sound like an idealist like I use to be, you don't give up your idealism, you simply observe that people are running evolutionary programs that guide their behavior and they simply DO WHAT FEELS GOOD... modern men and women could care less, if they feel attraction or an emotional bond towards someone they will 1) Spend time with them and deepen their bonds and/or 2) have sex with them regardless of their relationship status.

You really need to see this video...

http://www.moviesfoundonline.com/great_happiness_space.htm

You should also read Karl popper and the essay george soros wrote in the capitalist threat...

http://www.mtholyoke.edu/acad/intrel/soros.htm

 

He's co-dependent person, love makes him go, without someone loving him in his life, his life collapses, many people are like that, even women, except women aren't hung up on "one ideal soul mate" most women are social ladder climbers, the don't leave their current boyfriend/spouse until they have a firm grip on the other one.

 

This is your problem right here: You're hopelessly naive, you have no perspective on the world because you have no experience.

What is your major issues? Tell me about them.

 

He's blowing things out of proportion... Use find and search for "met a christian girl who was fairly pretty"

I made a few white lies to a Christian girl because she was looking for a guy who 'believed strongly in god' and because religion USED to be a big part of my life I don't view that as a "tremendous lie" since I share the similar kinds of values and sentiments. Just because I no longer believed in the christian god doesn't mean I can't tell her I believe in "God", without telling her *which one* or that my idea or conception of god is more of a euphemism for naturalism.

 

Yeah well I was a Christian for a long time myself, so I know where you're coming from there. I still don't think you should have to lower your standards in order to get a relationship even though more than enough people do. There are some genuine good people out there. If you compromise your principles I reckon you'll pay for it somewhere and somehow along the line. People who can't cope without a partner more than likely have a self esteem problem. If you love yourself, it's a lot easier to cope without one. I don't have a lot of time for women (or men) who flirt around and lead other people on whilst they are in an unhappy relationship which they won't end.

 

In reply to post #11 by Betterometer:

My major issues are:
1) Lack of my one and only girlfriend
2) Knowing I have to succeed on my first serious try, finding her, since if I lose my virginity to the wrong person, I have to die, since you and your true love, cannot become complete, unless both of you are virgins, when having sex, together, the first time

I am not lacking in experience, nor naive. I have a very clear and dark perspective on the world. What "experience" do you refer to, anyway? If sexual, I, obviously, don't want experience in that, since it would rid me of my virginity, which would be the worst that could happen. I'd rather die a virgin, than lose it to the wrong person.

 

I realize this is a "guy" thread and I am a woman treading on "male territory" by replying to this, but I am 43 years old, and a beutiful, strong, intelligent, successful woman, so I feel that my opinion should account for something.

you BOTH make me sick. you both act like women are possesions for you to "obtain" or "own" no wonder you dont have girlfriends if you are the sexist pigs that you are acting like on here.

betterometer, I read your entire post, and you sounded like a wonderful, intelligent, intuitive, sensitive, and perceptive individual with a lot of thoughts and ideas that are dead-on true, and you really would have made a difference in this world if you had gone into politics. Your social skills may have been lacking but that is not as important to some people. Take whats left of your soul, if theres anything left of the old you in there, and go try to change the world instead of sitting around complaining about it. You totally SOLD OUT dude. and the part about lying to girls, that just totally disgusted me. religion is VERY important to christians, probably the most important thing in that poor misled brainwashed girl's life, so its not a "little white lie" to her, and thats what counts, so that behavior is deplorable. you talk about everyone else being "barbarians" i don't see your behavior as being any better. If sex is what you need biologically to make you feel better there are plenty of women out there who will satisfy those needs for a small fee, and at least you would be being honest with them. that is way less disgusting than lying to girls. I did the whole "exercise, lose weight, get healthy" thing in my late 20's, but because I started doing it because I enjoyed the activities, not to get a guy.

and Hae-gee, i felt sorry for you until i saw you are looking for a virgin. where are there any 26 year old virgins around? you are putting "the pussy on a pedestal" (from 40-yr old virgin) Just go get laid and get it over with. I find that most people who cannot find someone are alone because they are looking for perfection, and are not perfect themselves. you have some pretty f'd up ideas about virginity and shit dude. its way over-rated. get a woman who knows a little bit about satisfying a man. so if you found a girl who was attractive, perfect in every way, loved you, and you loved her, and you were compatible, soul-mates, but then you found out she had had sex before, you dump her? you deserve to be alone. and whats that crap about "dying young together" are you some psychopath looking a for a fling and then you are going to kill her and then kill youself or something like that? way scary.

 

Virginity may be overrated to you, but it isn't to me. Also, I wouldn't expect her to make an effort to please me; just me being able to please her would be enough for me.

No, I wouldn't dump her, if she wouldn't be a virgin, because I wouldn't get together with her, in the first place. That may sound cruel to some, but this world IS cruel! It's not my fault, the world is so fucking shitty, not allowing for happiness, everywhere. By the way, someone who no longer is a virgin, could be my true love, anyway, but our souls wouldn't be able to merge, before in another life, where both of us would be virgins, again.

As for wanting to die young, together, I obviously wouldn't get a girlfriend, who would not be prepared to go through with it, eventually. If she'd change her mind, and wouldn't, anyway, she would stay behind, alive, and I'd kill myself, knowing she wasn't my true love, anyway.

You are very judgmental of someone you've never said a word to, before. You can go to hell.

 

I am not trying to judge, i am sorry I offended you. but you have to admit that looking for a virgin to have sex with and then you both off yourself is not normal. have you sought psychiatric help? I am not a dr but i dont think any doctor alive would say that this is normal. it sounds like a horor movie plot.

and I am a person who is not "normal" in the sense that I am a comformist, because I am not. i think individuality is important, and I am all for gay rights, religious freedoms (even though I am against religion) and freedom of speech and thought. i am also very much "for" physician assisted suicide, even if its only for a mental illness.

but when it comes to a plan like yours, two virgins have sex, then you both commit suicide? this is just too out there.

get some help before its too late, before you hurt yourself or someone else.

 

oh, and also, your chance of finding this girl???? she has to be a virgin, fall in love with you, and also share your same delusional suicide plan?

what are the odds?

good luck.

 

I never said we would have sex once, then kill ourselves. I said we, eventually, as in, after some time, would kill ourselves. "Some time" refers to the period until when we are not young enough; probably around the age of 35.

Of course psychiatrists won't say it's normal, but I despise psychiatrists. They are arrogant shitheads, mainly intent on making you feel worse. All psychiatrists I've met have treated me like trash. I have no respect for them, and their opinion on me, and anyone else's, for that matter, I couldn't care less about.

All the psychiatrists want is for you to marry, get children, live until you're very old and then die by age, and then your children are supposed to do the same, and their children. By the way, I will never get children; I will sterilise myself, in the future. Always need to mention this, when talking about children, so no one thinks I even have remote thoughts about *thinking* about getting children. It is important, not being misunderstood.

 

The odds are basically non-existent. Logic tells that the most appropriate thing for me to do, is to kill myself. I should probably do it. It'll be easier starting preparations, when I finally move to my apartment.