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For people when they think they are ugly

#1
Inner Beauty



We all once hated our complexions

For godly fear of rejections

We all once drove down in our insecurities

Not seeing the practical minorities

We all once screamed in the mirror

Not seeing the solution more clearer

We all once tried to copy others

But never seeing what we got from our mothers

We all once snapped and yelled out our hearts

Forgetting what we see for the most part

We all need too see what was passed from our mothers

To rise and be grateful for our sisters and brothers

We all need to wake up and love thyselves

Instead of wasting our time in sadness we dwell

We all need to change the sadness to glee

For all we need is inner beauty

Hello everyone it is me, summer. I wrote that poem because I felt this way and wanted to express how I felt in writing.

Growing up, the mirror was my second worst enemy while the first, was that of my face. Whenever I would look at my reflection in any source, I feel like crying honestly and even throwing up. I always told myself, “I look my dad” or “I’m too hideous to ever be at least like by human being” because I described myself as “Ugly”. To the point where my insecurities are driving my own mind down deeper than the steepest hill.

I didn’t believe how anyone ever said I was beautiful. And those ones who did mean it were always related to me and 30 years old than I was. Like my mom or something. And although, I appreciated the trying to comfort me with words it still didn’t work for me and it felt as if they were lying to me just to make me feel better about myself. And I didn’t. If anything I thought of myself as “average” a plain stain in this world. And I was insecure about my weight size, my looks, my hair, my acne, my skin tone, the dark circles under my eyes etc.



I always bullied in elementary school for not only my mental health and autism but because I was “ugly” back then. I remember these two kids talking about what if two of the students were in a relationship or some pettiness like that? And I remember one student said: “what about you and (my name)?” and the other student said “eww no”. And the students called me names like “ugly”, “Chupacabra” etc.



And not just other kids do this. Adults too look at me and go “eh” wow. What an example your setting for our youth with your empty gestures and words instead of trying to help our young kids and teens build and love themselves instead of degrading themselves like their nothing. Way to go.



And speaking of adults calling me ugly there is one in particular, my aunt. Yes the one I have mentioned numerous times of my aunt and her name calling toward me and her nasty words like calling me ugly and that I have body dysmorphia and because im ugly I caused bad things to happen in peoples lives. And because of that I’ve been insecure about myself. So insecure about myself to the point where I became jealous of other “gorgeous” women and girls my age.



And whenever I would see other “gorgeous” girls my age or other “gorgeous” women, I feel as if I don’t even belong on earth. I feel like an alien and that I just hated myself down into the core of my soul.



But there is a way to change that feeling of being ugly. To all of those who feel ugly, I am betting my life to you on this that there are a numerous ways of changing yourself and bringing yourself to at least an 9 out of 10 In your own eyes in looks. If your face has some severe deformity, then major facial reconstruction is an option as it exists for on of these very reasons like this. Listen, I am here to help those in need and I am a fellow friend here on this forum at least trying my best to give the best advice I can.

You can bring yourself up like just how I am currently, to the point where your confident enough to where your finally happy with yourself off of things you yourself can fix. What I mean by this is look at the things you don’t like about yourself. Take out what looks bad to you and put in what looks good to you. And that is what im doing currently for example:

I have acne – im fixing that

My hair is dry and permed – im fixing that

I have dark circles under my eyes – im fixing that

Im over 140 lbs for someone 5’2 – im fixing that

My teeth are chipped – im fixing that

My teeth are uncleaned – im fixing that

My nose looks dirty – im fixing that

And lasty in the past my personality wasn’t great – but I fixed that most importantly



And there are non-physical ways you can do to love yourself more what I mean by this is in another post, I explained how “self love does a lot”. What you do is you get up every morning and you go the mirror and recite: “I am beautiful” “I am loved” “I am amazing” and most importantly you should be saying to yourself: “Everyday in everyway, I am getting better and better and better” that’s what a wise man told me.



And no one is really ugly we just live in a society where a lot of people unfortunately, don’t look at what kind of personality people actually have. A lot of people unfortunately, only care about looks



“No one is born ugly, we're just born in a judgmental society” – Kim Namjoon



Remember, you are what you think and what you think is what you become and believe. And if you keep thinking “I am ugly”, “Im hideous to be liked by another person” you are going to believe that of yourself instead you should think: “I am beautiful” and “I am loved by people regardless of my looks but by the content of my character and personality”



I really really hope this helped people at least a 1% out of 100. I genuinely care about peoples well being and I don’t want to see you fall in that sinking ship that most people can’t seem to get out of.



I believe in you and can’t wait to see what you’ve become after what you decided to change, beautiful.



~ Summer
 

JMG

~ Crazy Cat Lady ~
#2
Hey summertime, just wanted to give a reply here since there's no others and also to let you know I read both your poem (wonderful, btw!) and the rest of what you wrote. I'm sorry you've struggled like that about not feeling confident about your appearance. I too have struggled a lot with that for various reasons. That's terrible about the kids in school that said those mean, hurtful and utterly untrue things about you. Kids can definitely be very mean and ruthless for sure. They just don't have any kind of filter, and also whatever messages are communicated to them from their own major influences in their lives also often end up being a major factor in terms of how they are to others. It's true that a lot of adults are still unable to learn how to be a nicer and more tactful person about that kind of stuff (or other things too for that matter). Thankfully there are at least some of those mean kids who grow up to become much nicer and realize what clueless jerks they were to treat others like that and say such hurtful things.

I really appreciate that you care about people and don't want them to feel bad about how they look physically, I think that is really nice, kind and caring of you and shows that you truly are a beautiful person in the ways that matter the most. You are right that a lot of people judge people far more often than they are even truly aware of a lot of the time based on very shallow, superficial kinds of features. The thing that makes it worse imo is not only most people's lack of awareness of having those biases to people (and how they treat them, oh boy have I ever witnessed this one, bigtime!) but then denying the absolute truth of it if confronted about their rather despicable (but not ultimately deserving of judgment I don't think since it is part of a much bigger, societal and even world problem) difference in both reactions and actual choices towards certain kinds of people (people they see as being more physically pleasing basically) vs. those they don't think look as nice in some way.

Anyway not meaning to get negative about things here at all, and I like how you kept your post positive in terms of trying to encourage people to do what they can to stay focused on the good things about themselves, and doing what they can to look as nice as they possibly can. It definitely does make a big difference, I feel bad for people who make so little effort due to thinking no one will ever be attracted to them that they don't even do fairly basic things to stay clean (both in skin health and also dental and other things related to smell) cos if there was a really handsome guy and a less handsome/average kind of guy standing side by side but one was clean, and the other had a bad smell then I'd end up preferring to be with the guy who was cleaner. That's just one example of course but I'm basically just trying to say I agree with you that it is very important to focus on what you have control of and to not worry about whatever you maybe don't "have" in quite the same way (or quantity) as another person does. It truly does no good for anyone to compare their path to anyone else's cos we're all so unique. There's some who believe there is "someone for everyone" in the world, I really want to believe that for sure but it is quite a challenge for me a lot of the time.

Thanks for posting this though, and for starting a discussion about this. Not sure if there will ever be any other replies in here after mine here so if not then I'll do my best to not take that personally or as any kind of rejection. Also I realize I've written a few paragraphs here that some people might simply say "tldr" too (too long didn't read lol) but if there's any who do take the time to read it all then I do sincerely thank you and hope that something I've said has either helped in some way or at least given some comfort and reassurance. One positive choice at a time, the more of us who make a serious effort to feel better about ourselves the better. Not only for ourselves, but to be an example to others of what it looks like for a person to feel good about what they look like. Wishing the best of luck to everyone here (and in the world for that matter) with this and everything else as well, I believe in you so please never doubt the amount of power you have in you to positively influence things in your life. You can absolutely do it! :) *hug*hug
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#3
Thank you.! This is really validating and very kind..
I relate so much. You put yourself out there and I want to as well, bit I'm pretty tired right now.
I also hate my face, was made to believe I'm ugly, and the mirror has been the bane of my existence off and on my whole life.
Maybe if others talk I can join in later.

Also, I'm really sorry this happened to you. You have emerged through this resiliently and beautifully. Your words are strong.
You are 100% right about the society we live in..I don't understand a world that only values superficial beauty according to the most popular's definition of beauty. So backwards and lame, cutting out what humans really are for the bewildering idea of some perfect shell.
 

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