for so long

[music_addict]

im not well right now. I just feel so bad. Ive been depressed for so long now its absolute agony. I dont enjoy anything, nothing brings me happiness anymore. I live in a fog of despair and apathy. It crushes my very being.
everything is crashing down around me. this pain will never end. It will stay with me until i die a wretched lonely death. I think i may attempt tonight. that would be nice. such a relief. im sorry if im not making much sense but im a bit overcome at the moment. overcome with the despair of life, with the knwledge that im such a resounding failure. All i can hope for now is the courage to pull the trigger. thats all i need...

 

[Terry]

Phone the samaritans hun...sharpish!!!!
Dont sit there alone and despairing, reach out for help.

 

[gentlelady]

Please allow ourself the time to think things through when you are not feeling so desparate. We do things on impulse that had we really given it the time, we may have chosen differently. You can talk to us and let us know what has been happening. Why are things crashing down around you? I don't see you as a failure. I see you as someone in so much pain that you can't see relief on the horizon. It is probably not death you seek, but for the pain to end. Things can change. There is always a chance. Don't give up on that chance. Let us try to help you through this difficult stage. We are hear to listen and offer support. Please seek help if you need to. We care. :hug: Stay safe.

 

[music_addict]

Well i didnt go through with it. If thats a good or bad thing is yet to be determined i suppose. But in any case, yeah i called a helpline and they made me feel a little bit better. Its nice to have a sympathetic ear sometimes. I also want to thank you both for replying, its nice to know that at least someone cares. It does help.