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For the better part of my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bacconandeggz, Jan 12, 2009.

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  1. bacconandeggz

    bacconandeggz New Member

    I have been depressed. I tried telling my grandmother once, and she dismissed it. I have never been happy, and have grew to be bitter to the world. For the last four years I spent my life with an amazing person! She loved me regardless of what was going on in my life. That was the closest I ever got to being happy. I wanted to fix things, so I go to a psychiatrist, and a councilor. I try being a nicer person; not so black and white. And after four years, she wont even speak to me. I'm on so many meds I can't stand it. I can't play the piano very much because they make my hands shake. So for all this trying to improve me; I have nothing to show for it. I can't keep crawling through life.
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni


    I'm sorry my reply to your thread is so late but i wanted you to welcome you to the forum and see how you're doing now? Sorry you're feeling depressed and that your attempts to tell someone about your feelings were not heard. Sorry also that things with the woman you talk about didn't work out. It sounds like you've tried hard to get help these past few years but are feeling hopeless now. Please keep talking here if it helps.. you're not alone

    Jenny x
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Bacconandeggz,

    Welcome to SF :)

    I'm sorry you are struggling so much right now. If your medication isn't helping, perhaps speak to your doctor about changing it? and maybe try a different form of therapy. There is help for everyone, so please don't give up hope :arms:

    I'm here if you need to talk x
  4. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    :welcome: :hug:

    i can relate, i feel in or around the same. whats the point moving forward in your mental health when your moving sideways/backways in other ares

    we can help you here in some small way i hope :hug: your not judged here
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello B&E,
    It is understandable what you got from your grandmother was zip! She grew up in a whole different era. In her days you didn't talk about such things. They were pretty much taboo. Alot of people from her time just don't understand the different types of depression or any of the other symptoms that go hand in hand with it.
    As far as your girlfriend you are probably still in the greif stage of loosing her. I know it hurts. I have been there several times in my life. You will get past this and you will learn from it. There will be other relationships, you should keep looking forward and don't let this one time drag you down. If you need to talk about it why not get a therapist so you can learn coping skills. There is nothing to feel ashamed about seeing one. Many people in this world see them all the time. You don't have to make it a permanent thing, just temporary so you can learn different skills. Good luck!!~Joseph~
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