For those in unhappy families

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by protonaut, Aug 20, 2007.

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  1. protonaut

    protonaut Well-Known Member

    I just want to say.. for those of you who haven't the best parents, or weren't lucky enough to have a loving family and positive upbringing -

    Please understand that you deserve guidance and good people in your life no matter what. All of us deserve love. It's hard to love yourself when no one has ever really loved you. I know how you feel, I honestly do.

    We're only in this life once. I'm not going to pretend life will always get better, or that it won't be a struggle. Many times.. the greatest, most inspirational people I've met.. those who deserve the most for all they've done and worked for, remain poor and face many conflicts through life, but they always continue. Some of the most hurtful and manipulative people often acquire great wealth and success while others suffer, and life is unfair. I've seen it happen over and over again, but life is about so much more than wealth, fame, success. I understand it's painful to see these things happen, it's killed me in time to see this tragedy and injustice... but remember that if we can learn to focus on our own lives rather than others (and it does take practice) the quality of our own lives will slowly improve. Happiness is what we all want, and it is selfish to some extent. I won't deny that humans are selfish beings, it's not something worth feeling depressed over, trust me. It's best to accept that we're flawed beings and move on. I'm still working on focusing more on my own life, and ignoring the problems around me. It's a long process.

    One of the best things for unlucky ones who've suffered unhealthy upbringings is to find friends who are older and more experienced, some of whom may have gone through the same difficulties you dealt with earlier in life.

    If you're a writer, try to find an older writer who's published a great deal of work. If you're a musician, find some more experienced musicians to work with. This is one of the most important things for you to do! They will often be more than happy to teach you in exchange for genuine friendship. I promise there are good people out there if you look. Finding contacts is essential for survival in our society. It's not always about education or natural born talent, anyone can be successful with a good mentor to guide them.

    So in summary - If you're seeking a lost childhood that never happened, it's true that you'll never be a child again to experience that BUT.. there are good adults out there who may help fill that missing part of your life. Don't be ashamed if you're struggling to find employment, motivation, and joy out of life. I've dealt with those emotions for a long time. At 24, I'm right there in the heart of the business world, tired, seeing the hurt that others around me are going through, feeling the pain of competition, the despair of waking up depressed, working hard all day, and earning barely enough to survive.

    I'm right there struggling with all of you, and I'm here if anyone needs advice or just to talk.

    Not all of us will make it - that's not what anyone wants to hear, but that's the truth. Those who are strong, smart, and have enough heart to survive are those older adults who rose above their circumstances and are still alive today, men and women who have become successful in their crafts, even against all circumstances. Seek out these people ! So this is the advice I'm offering you today.. I hope those of you who would benefit will take this advice to heart.

    Whether you live a long life or die tomorrow, remember all that you've been through up until today. If you've experienced pain, and lived through it, that's something to be immensely proud of no matter who you are. Perseverance is something beautiful. Your life was not in vain, and is not in vain, because it means a lot to others who you've influenced, and it means a lot to me. It's inspiring. To live is to love, it's there inside all of us, find it, use it.

    Thank you for being part of this world, even if you hate it here. I have love for everyone, even those who hate themselves and others. No one chose to feel that way, we're all pure humans from the beginning. It's not the specific burdens we each carry that define us, it's the act of carrying our own individual burdens and dealing the cards we've been dealt that matters the most.

    You've brought something new to our world, something others may learn from, something others may fight against, but it defines humanity, and in the end, everything is important. All of us are.

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2007
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Wow, very sweet. :hug: Thanks for posting it.

    I do think that this should be stickied.. :unsure:
  3. Unhappy families? Lost childhoods? Sounds so familiar that I could throw up.... I may never get my childhood back, but I have the chance to act like a child sometimes, the way I never got to do as an actual child..... I sacrifice so much to make my family happy, and they don't appreciate it. Rather they take it for granted & it feels like there's nothing that can be done to change that..... now finding older, wiser musicians as you suggested is quite a difficult task when you're used to bein alone. So used to it that you've grown accustomed to it & have actually learned to live that way, with no one there to back you up you learn to only rely on yourself, & this grows into believing in yourself alone. How could any others possibly know what your life is like? They were never you.
    So the unhappy family is all the support available now. Detaching yourself from them in order to search out your own "true happiness" would mean you against the world. Are you prepared to face it all by yourself? If not, you hold on to the only thing you can..... the only thing that's there..... the family you have, no matter how they treat you. You try to forgive & forget. You try to move on with the family that you have, atleast you have them.... right?
    But sometimes, staying with the wrong people is like staying in a room filled with poison..... no matter how strong you are, eventually it will kill you. However, if it turns out that you are not strong enough to make it all on your own, you die alone in this world.
    Everything I just typed refers to me & my situation, not anybody else here.
    I can only hope nobody relates to anything I just put down. These are the questions I ask myself on a regular basis & these are the answers that I give myself.
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