I can get through my sorrow. I can, and I know it, but I don't care. I don't even want to care anymore. I could live, but for what? Life is failing to offer me anything I seem to desire. I share something in common with all the transsexuals in this world. I know what it is to be a mismatch with physical being. I'm not a human. Not really. I'm not a man, I'm not a lion or bear, I am not anything this Earth knows. I do my best to stand at the sideline and watch all you, wishing that I really wasn't part of it. I study, and I don't like what I see; I see the ignorance of all people, the willing wanton ignorance. I see social groupings distorting everyone and bending them to it, and once again it is indulged in by humans willingly and wantonly. I don't want to be a human. I don't want to live on Earth. Only in my fevered dreams do I have a solution. I wish I could fly away; fly away to somewhere, ANYWHERE and life alone. Live on a space station in orbit and look down at the Earth. At least that would justify my loneliness. At least then I would be able to accept that I'm alone forever and that's it, but no. Being down here I have this small glimmer of hope I will find someone else that knows what is to live on the sidelines. Someone that isn't really human... But my glimmer of hope is failing. I know if I work at it, I could find such a bond, but I don't care. It's not only that I don't care, but that I don't want to care. I want to live alone, detached from it all. Death seems the natural choice; it's cheap, it's lonely and it is free of binds to any physical bodies. It seems to be the ultimate solution for me.