For whom the bell tolls

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WhyMeWhy, Sep 30, 2007.

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  1. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    I feel hated at this forum, certain ones don't like me, everyone who knows how I posted should know
    I did it for a reason. Even if you don't understand that reason. There was no warning, there were no signs. People who run this forum......they just left me on my own. To post horrible things....& end up hated by the entire forum. I can feel your eyes upon me, burning holes in my back....you're watching me now. Now that I've shown any sign of intelligence. This is what you want: You want me gone. Have no fear, all your wants will be fulfilled. You're not happy w/ me here are you? Well I can't blame you, I can only blame myself. This was never the place to come during a time of need...this was never the place at all. You can be rid of me for good. Then you'll be free to worry about the ones you like, & you'll be able to try & help them w/ out further interference from me. What did I do to you that was so wrong? Nevermind....you'll just say I attacked the forum/it's members. I know what you think....I just don't know why. Wait-I know exactly why......
    But you'll never admit the truth. You can't handle it. Thus I need you not. You even think I have no right to be suicidal. I watched my birth-mother die. At the age of 3 I watched my mother convulse upon the couch then suddenly go still.....never to move again. Happy? That is the reason I'm suicidal-the very strong reason that I am....I just want to be with her. I'm nothing but a child, hiding in the dark, crying for his mommy. You'd never understand unless it happened nto you, hell you probably think I'm lying....for attention or some such shit. Good for you
     
  2. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    uh, i'll try this. I didn't witness my mothers death, but have been suicidal since i was 3 or 4 years old. I've done all kinds of nasty stuff on this forum, and while some people will never get over it, the OP is extremely understanding and forgiving. I've been profane, hostile, etc. but when i came to my senses (temporarily) and tried to use sound reasoning & facts to state my issues w/ the forum & certain members, they have FINALLY been addressed, or at least acknowledged by using the letters to the management forum. only mods and you can see the post. But i felt it was pointless to post about the issues since i've been stalked by a forum member, so i took it to the letters forum and was at least given consideration. i think they're incredibly forgiving and really do want people to get & give support. don't know if rants work as i haven't posted
    except in response.:unsure:
     
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    You're being paranoid hun. Not eveyone hates you, im sure no one does, sometimes it just feels like it.
    It's terrible you lost you rmother that way and yes i acknowledge that you are suicidal. But we all have our own stories, we're all different with a few things in common.
    if you have an issue with a mod take it up personally with them, dont blame the whole of SF.
    I enjoy your threads.posts and music threads and wouldnt like to see you leave.
    :hug:
    some of us her ARe nice I swear
     
  4. your like the only person who I could relate to with my problem with this site... <3
     
  5. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Whymewhy I don't want you gone I do know how hard it all is though so please understand I know where you're coming from.
     
  6. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    well i dont want neither of you to go..

    and like i said earlier Ace.. i am gonna pray for you so much and so hard tonight that i will ask God to touch you and whymewhy with his love and embrace..
     
  7. j86

    j86 Well-Known Member

    I don't hate you! I can't, I barely know anyone since i'm new but I don't have anything against anyone on this forum and I doubt any negative feelings towards anyone would ever develop.

    I've seen you post on a couple of my threads so it's nice to see you're opening up to me.
     
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