Hey guys, its been a while since ive been around here, but i thought id check in seeing as ive had an awful week and am just sat here staring at the 4 walls of my existence. The weeks started by me seeing my doctor about me being suicidal again, and he basically spent ten minutes yelling at me about how i was just wasting the time of him and the other patients he could 'help'... the appointment ended how they usually with,my doctor, he yells, throws a prescription at me and i storm out. but that wasn't the worst part of my week, on tuesday and thursday i was supposed to see my friend which i dont often get the chance to anymore as he just had a kids, so i understand he's busy. But anyway both tuesday and thursday we were supposed to meet up in the evening, but i didn't hear from him. i didn't hear from him until the morning my money went in... i dont wanna say there's a link there but how can i not see one? I just cant help thinking that everytime anyone wants to see me, or be associated with me, is when it is convenient to them. all of this has left me questioning whether or not anyone really cares about me, or if its just that people like what i can do for them?