Forever & always.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by jesbby, Aug 22, 2010.

  1. jesbby

    jesbby New Member

    Rest In Paradise, Kelsey.
    December 5th, 1990 - June 26th, 2009

    Life and death never make sense. One moment, a breath of life is given. You’re here and enjoying everything, living in this dream.

    And the next, it’s gone. All gone.

    You have it in your hands… it’s within reach… and the next thing you know, it slips between your fingers and you can’t catch it fast enough.

    Everyone says to not go so fast. To slow down, take a look at life. But whoever does slow down? Who takes a step back and looks around? Who says, “I want to just live in this moment”, other than weddings or when a baby is born. Who says, “I love life” just because. Not because of something great that’s happened. Who has ever just stood outside and looked up at the sky and just smiled?

    All that is ever heard is, “I can’t wait for tomorrow!” What about now? Why can’t you appreciate today? I believe we’re all guilty of going through life too fast, looking for the next best thing. I’ve done it. I’ve said, “I can’t WAIT for this to happen. Why can’t it be here NOW?”

    But I’ve never sat and thanked God for life. I've never thanked him for blessing me with a beautiful & healthy baby girl. To be able to look forward to getting married, buying a house, growing old… I have never actually sat and said, “Thank you.”

    Until someone’s life is taken too fast.

    We’ve all lost a friend, we’ve all lost a loved one or family member. We know what the pain is like. We know what it’s like to be so torn and broken hearted, to wonder why. But we go on about our lives. And soon, they’re remembered as a high school classmate, someone you knew for a brief part of time, a party buddy, someone you knew from everyone else.

    You don’t know when death will be knocking at your door. No one knows when God will say, “It is time, my child.” Who knows how you will die. It’s all a mystery.

    Everyone thinks it’s too far away. That death doesn’t come around us. That we’re immune to it, that no one will die at a young age. That life is just here.
    And then, in a blink of an eye, it is gone.

    Someone dies and you’re in shock.

    You don't realize how short life is, until it is ripped from you. It doesn't just push reality in your face, rather it shoves you out in front of a speeding freight train. And once it hits, you finally understand how precious the people around you are, and how precious your own life is.

    You don’t realize how much someone matters until they are gone. It’s something as simple as them moving or your friendship ending… or something as big as their life being taken away.

    And then you’re left standing out in the rain, tears pouring down your face, staring up at heaven and screaming, “Why?”

    No one ever thought this would happen. No one understands how great of an impact someone is until they're taken away. And once they are, we all see the missing holes where this person once was... it's so hard to understand.

    And it’s more confusing than it was before.

    All of us have lost someone. But have you thought about what everyone else would do around you if you took your own life? I've lost a few friends to suicide & I would love to have one more day with them.

    Kelsey was killed in a car accident a year & 2 months ago. There's not a day I wouldn't sacrifice to have her back. I miss her like hell, & I know I'm not the only one. She was such a sweet girl, she had a heart of gold. She stood up for herself, too, putting a lot of people in their place. & she stood up for her friends.

    She has a beautiful soul, & she's in paradise now.
  2. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry for your loss, I know what you mean about rushing things, life going too fast etc if we appreciated the present more we probably wouldn't rush into making so many mistakes.

    PM me if you want to talk about anything, I'm always here xxxxx
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    It's unfortunate that we don't know what we have, until we don't have it. That's why I think if I lost a relative, it'll hit me like a sledge hammer to a blob of jelly. Fortunately, I haven't lost any relatives yet. infact no one in my life that I know has died. Except for my great grandma, she died sometime when I was really young. I only remember maybe one or two times when I met her. So I don't have much of an understanding of who she was.

    My mothers parents are starting to get to 'that' age, when it might be there time. I've never been to a funeral, and I don't know how I could handle it. One thing that scares me is that I'll end up bottling it up, like everything else. Therefore adding to the depression and somewhat worsening my mental health.

    I have a tendency to push those around me, away. And when they are gone I'm left asking, "Why?"...

    I can't remember the last time I lived in this very moment. Sadly, my anxiety tends to rid my ability to do that. I hope to change that one day. I can't wait for the day when I can embrace a hint of euforic happiness. But knowing me, that day'll never come. And I'll be sitting there questioning why I just didn't do my best :sigh:.