The hole in my heart is burning a hole through my flesh. A big gaping hole, filled with black despair. The black flames licking at anything good. The flowers, the cotton candy clouds, now burnt nubs and gray mush. Teasing true pleasures, willing them near. Only to burn them. The smell is acrid, burning my nostrils. Following me everywhere I go, this nauseating smell; Of my own fear. As the black climbs up my throat. Searing pain grips my lungs, as I struggle to breathe. But it pours out my mouth like a molten lava. Burning everything in sight. Leaving nothing behind. My soul, shaken, not broken, Tries to scurry away. The black mist seeming to chase it. It engulfs my soul in doom. After it is done feeding, it pries my mouth open And leaps right back in. Claws ripping my throat, slicing it open. Crawling back to where it came from. I try to cough it out, and it lodges its talons in my heart. Squeezing until the blood pounds in my ears. I smell burning flesh and see the hole in my chest. The smoke is dark as night. My heart is nothing but a small black lump. I fall to my knees and try to grasp what was once there, And is know forever lost. I cry in disgust, willing God to take me back. Knowing forever I cannot return; To wild flowers and strolling in the forests, Watching the wild animals graze and hunt. Watching the birds build there nests, singing sweetly. But forever seeing Lucifer slice his wrists open, lapping the blood. Watching his whores swallowing razors, And seeing them cough up bloody masses of tissue. Watching the old being burned alive. Forever smelling smoke, Having the fire burn my flesh. Knowing I can never hold my love. His warm breath on my neck, kissing my forhead. Holding me in his arms. Humming softly, a slow lullaby. Haunting and sweet. Making me drowsy, cradling me in his warm embrace. Rocking, swinging gently in the wind. Missing everything I was never thankful for. Never seeing the smile on my Grandmother's beautiful face. The smile that reached her eyes, and lit my soul. Never seeing my Grandfather, so kind and gentle, yet jokingly playful. Never hearing my family say how much they love me. My sister, so pretty and young. Her big eyes so full of love. My brothers, so full of life and so caring. And most importantly, my parents. Who stuck by my side. And here I sit, this gaping hole in my chest. The black smoke filling my lungs and suffocating me. Forever trapped in this hell hole.