Forever wondering

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by mpang123, Sep 28, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I just keep thinking about my last suicide attempt which is more than a year ago. Because it was the worst one yet and the most traumatizing, having lived through it is torture mentally. I have no closure as to what happened from the time I was unconscious, on life support, and even waking up to not know the extent of what happened to me. I want to thank EMS, the doctors, the nurses, my caring neighbors, and my family. However, I'm so sad that I did this to everybody and I can't seem to move on. My social worker says that I keep asking myself questions that will never be answered and I just need to be glad that I survived it all. I need to move on and stop reminiscing about the past. Easier said than done. I'm so traumatized still and I beat myself up in the head for ever doing what I did. The irony is that I wished I was successful so that I won't have to remember the past, which is not much since I was unconscious the whole time. Is this PTSD? How am I going to move on from this? I am really stuck and I feel so sad. Can anyone relate to me or have been there? How did you all cope and carry on? Is it going to get better? Again, I'm asking questions, but I just keep wondering about it all. What should I do?
     
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    not a doctor or anything but does sound somewhat ptsd.
    social worker basically saying move on but you need to talk about it.

    at the start, or stage one you carry on day by day, i suppose. and see hope in faces of others for you with each small improvement you make in your life after. it's enough to take the edge off.

    i don't think i personally ever made it past that stage. but who knows, it really does mess with the mind, i feel your pain
     
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    There is nothing given in life. You make the decisions in your life, whether good or bad. There is consequences for your actions. So try to take care of yourselves as much as you can. Live day by day. It's easy to want to give up trying but there is hope after the day is done and another day begins to start afresh. Noone knows exactly what will happen in the future, so today is the only given. Make the most out of it.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.