forever worsening

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by LouisLeGros, Jul 14, 2007.

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  1. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    nothing works out... it just gets worse and worse and worse.

    No matter what I try nothing helps. Therapy hasn't helped at all. Medicine does nothing. No friends to turn to but one that I have scared of and just tell me to off myself if I want to.

    I can't get thoughts of hurting/killing myself nd others out of my head.

    There are just the most disturbing thoughts of mutilation going on in my head.

    I'm thinking about grabbing a gun and going to really my only friends house and shooting them. Not to kill them, I want them to suffer for some reason. I want to shoot her vgina and have her suffer as I force her to watch m shoot myself.

    I just tried to stab myself, but the piece of glass was to small/blunt.
  2. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Please don't hurt yourself or anyone else. What's going on with you?
  3. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    I'm always alone. I have no friends except one who hates me and only sticks around because she is a sadistic bitch who enjoys causing me pain and uncomfortablness in anyway possible.

    I can't and have never been able to anything I have ever wanted because of my intense anxiety. I want something as simple as a friend to be friends with and hang out every once in a while so I'm not home alone every day of every week of every month of every year for my entire life.

    It is impossible for me to have a conversation with anyone, it nearly impossible for me to even say a word to a girl my own age.

    I've had numerous panic attacks during school and everyone knows me as the weird creepy shy guy who fainted in class (which was really a panic attack that I collapsed during).

    I've never had a girlfriend or anything in that realm (touching, kissing, dating, etc). The very few people I have asked out now avoid me at all costs as if I'm a lepper. Then I'll be going to college next year... well that is until I have no money... well I guess I'm already at the point of having no money.

    O ya I also have horrible acne and horrible acne scars that won't go away even after numerous perscriptions of acutane and about every other acne medecine on the market from proactive to retin-a micro.

    also my anxiety/complete lack of social skills is not only with strangers, it is with EVERYONE! No exceptions. Not relatives, siblings or parents.

    I'm left alone in my room all day long just staying in bed or doing something like being on the computer or watching TV and that describes most of my life for the last 10 years.
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