nothing works out... it just gets worse and worse and worse. No matter what I try nothing helps. Therapy hasn't helped at all. Medicine does nothing. No friends to turn to but one that I have scared of and just tell me to off myself if I want to. I can't get thoughts of hurting/killing myself nd others out of my head. There are just the most disturbing thoughts of mutilation going on in my head. I'm thinking about grabbing a gun and going to really my only friends house and shooting them. Not to kill them, I want them to suffer for some reason. I want to shoot her vgina and have her suffer as I force her to watch m shoot myself. I just tried to stab myself, but the piece of glass was to small/blunt.