what the hell am I trying to prove to me or anyone. I'm fake a nothing just a young stupid person that can't do anything straight. Everything I had is gone I have nothing now, my life is just a blank box with nothing. What did i do to deserve this fate maybe i was the person to suffer to feel pain both in mind and body. I'm just a nobody that no one like, the only reason why they talk to me is cause they feel sorry for me. But you know I'm tired of everything. I'm just a person that has big dream and hope that will never come true and wishing for me to get better wont work. Whats the point of keep going whats the point keep going for what more pain, more regret for thoughts. I'm just a dog in this world get pulled on by a leash never getting to run away and be happy. All i do is smile so people wont have to see the real me. Why was i born in this world whats the point on going on for what nothing getting leading in for false hopes. :sad: My life is going down hard my mom just got married and she was soo happy with her new man I'm just getting in the way. They dont want me to bring them down she gonna kick me out so she does have to see or hear me no more. I guess I let them down i wasn't the "perfect little girl" no more.I'm sorry mother that I'm not the beautiful skinny little girl that you wish for. You should have left me mom then none of this would every happen. All i do is cause pain to everyone who i come to contact with. Life is hard i know that from the start but damn someone just shoot me and get it over with. I don't have anything anymore all my friend's the people i love have moved on and left my body in cold waiting for the sun to come up. I'm a ghost to everyone and i know people care about me but i wish they would just follow the crowd and leave me be. I just hope that maybe someone will come up to me and see me for me not someone else, i want someone to say this will pass. But I been told that to many times and I know they want to help but they can't. How can you fix me when i don't even exist. I just want to run away from everyone and lose contact with them, like my parents and brother did to me. I just want to curl up in a ball and just die. I feel like the only reason why I'm still here because people are forcing me to stay.. I'm sorry to everyone I talk to and came close with I'm sorry for being nothing I'm sorry for ruining everyone life. :cry: Maybe I should just leave and never come back going straight forward without turning around.