I don't know what to do anymore. I'm like beyond everything with this relationship with him. I like him but he grates me the wrong way. I like him but I have the undoubted feeling that he's only out for one thing. I like him, but it's like he gets off on watching me hurt and cry. I don't know what to do. I make an honest mistake and he flies off the handle. He makes a mistake and it's okay and I forgive him. Maybe I'm too forgiving or just don't care enough about the small things to get aggravated. I'm just tired of the tears that he manages to bring to my eyes. He says that he forgives me but then screams at me. He says he likes me, wants to get to know me, but when I try to tell him how I feel he shuts me down. It's like what do you really want man because I'm sinking here. I don't enjoy the pain that he brings but he says I get off on it. He says I get off on feeling upset and sad. The last damn thing I want is for anyone to see me cry. He says I'm constantly pushing him away, well maybe I am. Maybe it's gotten to the point where I see through his shit and I push rather then try to dredge through it. Why dredge through it if he still makes me feel like shit? It's relentless and aggravating. It grates my nerves to no end, so why put forth the effort of being with him when he clearly wants nothing to do with me. He says he forgives me, but needs to cool down some because he's angry. Isn't forgiveness about trying to work through things? Isn't forgivenessa bout trying to make things okay? How can I possibly do this if he's "too angry" to be a man and talk to me? Instead he screams, yells and makes me feel like utter shit. I'm afraid to be alone. I'm afraid to not have someone there now that I've obtained it, but I'm at the point where I'd rather be alone and empty then have someone beat me down like this. The last thing I need is to feel more depressed and empty then I already have felt. It's just not what I need to feel at all anymore. Sigh. Sorry for this. I don't think anyone can help me here...I just needed to get this out.