Former employer needs help should I do it?

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by BH Manners, Jan 25, 2009.

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  1. BH Manners

    BH Manners Member

    I have a theoretical question for all of you .


    A former employer of mine had his house burn down and he asked me to help him out. I told him him no.

    Here is why--

    He threatened to fire me from a job several years ago because he thought I wasn't doing a good job. I was doing anything wrong just not doing the job he thought I should be doing. I ended up leaving for another position a few weeks later.

    Do you think I was wrong?

    This is just one absolute boundary I have. I do not have anything to do with people who threaten my livelyhood or ever take my livelyhood away.
     
  2. Anju

    Anju Well-Known Member

    Well you have no obligation to help him. I think it's important to remember that they way he may have mistreated you was only him doing his job, I doubt it was anything personal against you. There could even have been someone putting pressure on him to treat you that way, who knows.

    I guess it depends on how he wanted you to help out. If he meant financially, that'd be pretty ironic. Still, it's always good to help people. I wouldn't say you were wrong in chosing not to help though, it's your choice afterall.
     
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It's totally up to you. Your not obligated to help. One may argue that, that incident happened years ago.
    Anyways what kind of help does he ask off.
     
  4. BH Manners

    BH Manners Member

    It's a theoretical question. I was reading a book about how people play mind games and stuff and a similar question to what I asked was in it.

    It basically talked about what the boss would try to say to get around the person he threatened to fire's anger at him, and what the former employee could say to get him off his back.


    It was granted that legally the employee could say no with no further explanations needed. However, the author wanted to explore the possible manipulation strategies that could be used by either side.

    Right now the author basically says to take the arguement given and twist the same argument back around on the one given it.

    The boss would say "I couldn't employ you if you weren't profitable."

    The employee could come back and say "It isn't profitable to me to help you out."

    The boss would say that "I had to do my job."

    The employee could say he (he the boss) didn't do his job and prepare for the problem that hit him. Or "It isn't my job to help you out" or "I have a job I have to do and do not have time to help you".

    The boss could say "I had to follow policy and procedure"

    The employee could say "I have to follow my policy and procedure which is not to help you out".

    I wish I had the cover, title page, and author's name. It's one of those old ones.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2009
  5. BH Manners

    BH Manners Member

    It's a theoretical question. I have never really been fired from a job. I had a job I left on my own because I was not pleased with the work enviroment or my performance but was never threatened with job loss, at least not at that point. I have nothing against that employer personally or professionally.
     
  6. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    It just depends on how your relationship with him was. If he was just your boss and you were his employee, no, who cares, if he was a good friend, sure, not a great deal of help I'd imagine. Depending on the strength of the relationship.
     
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