found a reason to live for 5 more days

...but I'm really scared that I'll end it all after that. I'll be drinking and this usually puts me in the mood and it's getting worse and the urge is stronger every time. Will you listen on Saturday night?

 

ill probably be on here saturday in chat but im a little drunk though.

happen to listen though.

or semd me one of those message things if you want.

 

Thanks, I might need someone to listen. I'm scared I will want to go away...

 

I'll be here Saturday night. Jusr post a thread and we'll figure something out to help you!

What do you have planned for Saturday?

 

i'm going out, lightbeam, and i think this might be my last time.

 

lots of people will be here Saturday so come on post and spend evening with all of us okay pm me anytime hugs

 

same from me ill be here saturday well unless i win the lottery so yeah ill be here feel free to pm me too

 

Here's my post about what's going on. I'll do my best to be here on saturday in one piece.
http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=100990

 

Dear juniper,

Can you please slow down and take some time to question your thoughts and feelings?

“…my husband loves me so much and i just don't deserve it. he needs to move on, but won't leave me. ” --- Does this mean that it is wrong or he is not so bright that your husband loves you so much? Is it possible that your husband sees something in you that you cannot seem to see for yourself? Maybe it’s not that he needs to move on, but you need to forgive yourself and/or move on? I feel you have a very loving heart while I also feel that you may be confused…

“i wanted to do it last year and i really regret i did not. By this now, all of my family would recover.” --- Is it true that your family would just recover like that? Or is it possible that your family may be better off with you around even if you would move on with your colleague?

“i'm a coward and a selfish piece of shit. Can't stop thinking about the colleague - this makes me feel even more worthless” --- You know you are not a coward…maybe you just feel guilty for falling into love with another man (which is probably beyond your control and not necessarily selfish - we are humans and have intuitive feelings) while married with kids?

I just want to say that guilt does not help us to live a truthful (true to our heart and feelings) life. However your life unfolds, do not let guilt eat you up. Unexpected things happen in life. We just need to make adjustments (sometimes big adjustments) in our life situations…

Wish you well, either way!

 

Well, go ahead and login on Saturday, and there are a bunch of us that are willing to help. ttys!