Found my sister with a knife twice tonight

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BigBrother, Apr 19, 2008.

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  1. BigBrother

    BigBrother New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I am the big brother to an 18 year old girl, and I found her sitting in the dark at the kitchen table with a knife after arguing with her girlfriend (as in a same-sex relationship, not just friends) on the phone. I took the knife off her and took her outside to have a chat. After an hour, I thought I had calmed her down enough, and we headed to our rooms.

    I resisted the urge to go to bed, and about 30 minutes ago (2 hours after the first time) I hear her door open, and assumed she was heading to the toilet. I didn't hear the toilet door, so I went to check on her. She had another knife pressed to her wrist in the kitchen. I don't know what to do, but I just hugged her for about 10 mins, and promised that if she tried to sleep I would call the girl tomorrow and sort things out. I don't think she'd go through with it, but she has very poor control over her emotions, and tends to have a strange view on reality, so it scares me that even though I don't think she would, there's some chance that she might.

    Her girlfriend lives in another country. She's been with her for four years over the internet and phone, and we recently saw her in person for two weeks (for the first time). Ever since I've known, my sister just yells and screams on the phone at this girl during arguments which have occurred at least three nights a week for the last two years. Funnily enough, not one argument while we were there, but after getting out of the plane on the first leg of our trip home, she's on the phone arguing, not 30 seconds after we left the plane.

    My sister is very under-socialised, had many problems in school with socialising and has no friends currently that I know of. She has no job, sits in her room all day and either calls this girl or sleeps. She does nothing else. She goes to work in my business for a few hours each weekend, but that's it. The little money she has, she spends on phone calls overseas, and that's her whole life.

    Besides having just hidden all the sharp implements in the house and using cable ties to wire the medicine cabinet shut, does anyone have any immediate advice? I've spent time listening and just being there, but that doesn't seem to help much (as far as I can see).

    How can a big brother help?
  2. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    How can you help her.....
    I dont really know. But if she wasnt arguing with her while they were together, probably this is the solution. Can you arange them to see each other more often? Probably it will costs a lot money, since she is across the border, but if you are able to do this for her, probably you will help her.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    my advice would be that you shouldn't try to handle this alone. if she is suicidal she needs professional help.

    for now, don't leave her alone, and keep telling her how much you love her. it's always a good idea to ask direct questions: are you thinking of killing yourself? do you have a plan? do you have the means? do you have a timeframe? you won't be putting ideas in her head that aren't already there.

    if she says yes to any of these tell her that she doesn't have to feel alone anymore, and that help is on the way. the next step is to get her some help, even take her to the doctor yourself if you can.

    she may say she doesn't need help, but really, you don't want to take chances with this. she may be mad at you at first but professional supports are essential.

    the situation with the girlfriend will hopefully resolve itself, but in a crisis you need to take action. your family doctor might be a good place to start, or a community mental health clinic if there is one where you live. good luck.
  4. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    The most suicidal I've ever been always involved relationships. Family and girlfriends, very explosive emotions. I've always found it very hard to control them, myself.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Your sister is very lucky to have such a caring brother like you. You have to do all that you can to prevent her from taking her life. Suicide is so awful and leaves the person's loved ones heartbroken. You have to save her from herself. Talk to her and comfort her. She might need professional help. Talk to your parents too.
  6. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    My sister is just like yours. same sex relationship, she is 21. Fighting all the damn time. Her girlfriend cheated on her, and molested my other sister (14). She tried cutting her wrists, i could see the lines. I am in a worse position then her even. So that makes it extra difficult to help her. I dunno what to do to be honest. Why are they so obsessed ? its insane.
  7. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i dont know if they are obssesed but may be the feeling of not being normal may be pushes their behaviour. BigBrother make sure you ask your sister what was she trying to do and why, and them try to convice her to seek for help, and then if she doesnt want u should drag her for medical help.She will probably say she hates you for that, but dont believe her if she says so, its just dessesperation in action. Take care of u and your sister and good luck=) :)
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