I don't want to commit suicide, but now circumstances have brought me to the point I have no choice. My former company had a mass layoff. I was pretty high up at the corporate headquarters, had a great track-record of success, got a nice severance package, money in the bank, low debt...I knew I'd be back in the game soon. I'll spare you all the details in between. It's 3 years later, I took two sales jobs (not my field) and ultimately failed at both. Unemployment has run out which really doesn't matter because I'm now $90K in debt, my house experienced foundation damage during a drought 2 years ago so, in today's market, is unsellable at break-even. I have gone to endless job fairs, networking events, called everyone I know 3 times....I'm either under-qualified, overqualified, too old (in my early 50's), don't have a high enough degree or there's just nothing at the rate I need to break even on my bills. One company even turned me down because the job I applied for paid $40K less than my last one, and since they were so impressed with me, they were convinced someone would hire me away so they didn't want to take the chance. I see a shrink (pill pusher) have been on pretty much everything, but have no self confidence, am very depressed, suffer from panic attacks: I am nothing like I was 3 years ago. An old friend of mine offered me a partnership in his new internet business. It has the potential to be unbelievably big. I've been working on it every day and it's coming together....slowly. We go back to the investors in about 7 weeks for 7 figures. I have enough money to last 3 months so it looked like life was turning around. Then I received a letter from my Life Insurance Company. My policy was expiring in the middle of April and they included a renewal notice. Problem is, the new policy has a 2 year suicide exemption. If things don't work out with the new company or quickly enough, we'll be broke, have nowhere to live, and mentally I'm a mess...I doubt I could flip burgers let alone get a real job. I don't like being around people anymore. I sleep too much or too little. I don't care about myself: it's my wife. She is the most wonderful, amazing woman on the planet. She didn't deserve the last 3 years and she doesn't deserve the life we will have after we are broke. Right now, I'm worth more dead than alive. She could take care of the bills; she's very close (by phone...we live 1500 miles away) to her family. She could move there, buy a house by her family, keep her dogs (which are her children because she couldn't have children).....a homeless shelter is not going allow us to bring dogs. And it would be hard on her emotionally for a while, but she would get on with her life. Do I gamble that the internet business will all come together, we'll get our funding, and everything will be fine.....there's a lot of risk with start-ups.....or do I kill myself before my current life insurance runs out so my wife will be taken care of. I don't trust my own judgement anymore on business related things.....or much else. Suicide looks like the safest option. I'm running out of time: I have a hard deadline now. My wife comes first. I'm mentally a wreak. It looks like I have no other option. I don't know why I posted this. I guess because I really don't want to die and am hoping for some miracle solution. Or maybe I just needed to see it in writing. Four weeks to live. It wasn't supposed to work out this way.