freak *may trigger*

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by lostbutnotfound, Mar 15, 2011.

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  1. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    Some people call me a freak
    And I guess I deserve that name
    But what those people don't understand is
    To get pleasure, I need pain
    I don't cut myself for laughs or fun
    It's not a game or sport
    I do it out of necessity
    And stopping isn't a thought
    My pain is my addiction
    I need my daily fix
    Cos compared to emotional agony
    This is a mere pinprick
    Everytime I finish and clean up
    I feel a twinge of sorrow
    But no matter the amount of regret I feel
    I know I'll do the same tomorrow
    Sometimes I get so angry
    I want to tear the flesh from my face
    Because I feel so out of control
    I don't want to be in this place
    Then for a moment the pain almost lifts
    As my hand reaches for the blade
    Though it gives only a moments relief
    For a scar or twenty, I'll trade
    Calmness spreads as the blade reaches the flesh
    And somehow it feels so right
    Not a lot of people understand it
    They hear 'self harm' and turn white
    How can I explain the feeling
    When I see my red blood run
    When my mind suddenly stops roaring
    And for a second merely hums
    I don't do this for attention
    Or because I think it is a game
    I do it because I need control
    I have the power to inflict myself pain
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    so well written many here will understand that need and why you do it. I jsut wish you could get helpto stop i know the release if gives but somehow you have to care for YOU okay hugs
  3. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    poignant. explains very well the emotions behind sh to someone like myself that hasnt been there. youre a very talented writer.
  4. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    thanks guys :hug:
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