Freaking out at being touched.

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by feathers, Oct 20, 2012.

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  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    I used to be fine for example being on a night out and being grabbed by my mates etc. But ever since I broke up with my abusive ex things have changed... I have one friend for example who always grabs me/pokes me in the sides etc... It triggers me and scares me when people grab me suddenly... Last night was worse, I was on a night out and I was feeling particularly triggered and people just seemed to keep grabbing me randomly, even after I said stop it, stop it, stop it, they don't listen, because they don't know why it would bother me so much... Especially when it's people that I don't know well enough to explain why I don't like being grabbed... Sigh...

    Kaz x
  2. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    i kind of kno how u feel, tho my 'reasons' for not liking being touched are different. it can be pretty uncofrotable being in those situations.
    i have a suggestion that might help this kind of. maybe u cud tell one friend that u really prefer not to be touched [and if u want, also explain why], and ask that friend to 'protect' you. usually when someone else tells people to stop, it works a lot better, and people wud understand better that u're not just 'whining' but u actually want them to stop.
    hope this helps, and if u have any questions on this subject, feel free to ask^^

  3. Morgana

    Morgana Well-Known Member

    ^I really like that idea, of telling one friend why, and they act as a sort of "guard" against other people touching you, so that you don't always have to be defending yourself against it.

    I don't like to be touched either for multiple reasons. Very few people are allowed to touch me, although hugs are usually okay, and I despise when people sneak up on me. Due to my hyper-vigilance, this is a good way to get accidentally punched. :/

    And I'm sorry they wouldn't stop even when you told them to. I hate when people do that. People do that to me sometimes because if you poke my sides, I squeak like a mouse, and they think it's funny. :S
  4. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    yea i can kinda relate to you, Morgana. i once accidentally elbowed my sister in the stomach when she tried to hug me from behind.. i rly hate that i did that tho but sadly it was automatic. also, another suggestion, might or might not help tho. in my case for example, it's easier when i'm 'mentally prepared' for the 'event'. when i'm rly focused on the fact [and also aware that's it's gonna happen], it's not as bad, because i've had time to think about it, and i'm aware that there's no actual 'harm' involved, that it's all in my head really.
  5. Lps

    Lps Well-Known Member

    Just a thought from working through my own things...your physical reaction is really just saying how you feel in your mind, spirit and heart. The memory & experience of whatever affected you this way is still holding on to your heart & insides and that's not really very good. For your own well being, it's important to work toward peace and healing in your mind, thoughts & emotions. It's not healthy to be a brain separated from your body, or a body that's all locked up. It's like how you have to pull glass out of your foot so the wound can heal. The wound must be treated so you can heal.
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