Context: I'm here because I think I've just really messed up. | Suicide Forum - Live Chat & Online Support for Suicidal Thoughts & Emotional Distress
My mood is currently going up and down like a yo-yo. One minute I feel like I did nothing wrong, the next I end up in a crying meltdown through guilt. I’m worried I WAS being manipulative and I WAS suicide baiting.
I realized last night that there are many avenues in which this woman doesn’t end up killing herself. I was completely unable to see that last week. I was knee-deep in images and thoughts of her suicide. I don’t even know her but I felt I had to save her. I had a meltdown over the fact I’ve been publicly accused of suicide baiting and messaged them saying please take it down, I was in the middle of a mental health spiral where suicide was everywhere I looked, it is really hurting me to be accused of manipulation for having a PTSD delusion. He didn’t reply, I don’t know, I backed away. Now I’m worried I was being manipulative all over again. Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just SHUT UP??
My suicidality went through the roof last night. I was scared. I don’t want to die but I don’t know what to do. It’s happening all over again.
My mood is currently going up and down like a yo-yo. One minute I feel like I did nothing wrong, the next I end up in a crying meltdown through guilt. I’m worried I WAS being manipulative and I WAS suicide baiting.
I realized last night that there are many avenues in which this woman doesn’t end up killing herself. I was completely unable to see that last week. I was knee-deep in images and thoughts of her suicide. I don’t even know her but I felt I had to save her. I had a meltdown over the fact I’ve been publicly accused of suicide baiting and messaged them saying please take it down, I was in the middle of a mental health spiral where suicide was everywhere I looked, it is really hurting me to be accused of manipulation for having a PTSD delusion. He didn’t reply, I don’t know, I backed away. Now I’m worried I was being manipulative all over again. Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just SHUT UP??
My suicidality went through the roof last night. I was scared. I don’t want to die but I don’t know what to do. It’s happening all over again.