Friday, and then I'm done.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by music_junkie, Nov 20, 2008.

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  1. music_junkie

    music_junkie Well-Known Member

    I need to get this off my chest.

    I was hospitalized involuntarily a month ago. I was discharged into the care of student health services (I'm a college student), who promptly told me that my needs were too "intensive" for them to handle...

    I was referred to another hospital, this time as an outpatient.

    I have been waiting for over a month for movement, change, action. There has been none. The only advice I've been given has been to "hang in there" until paperwork has been sorted out.

    I am seeing a therapist to "check in" periodically, basically so the school can cover their ass and guard against liability/malpractice.

    I am self-injuring at an alarming rate, both depth and frequency.

    I am dissociating.

    I am having sleep paralysis issues.

    I am switching between crushing depression and hyperattentive anxiety/panic.

    I am done.

    I am giving this until Friday, and if nothing changes by then, I am checking out.

    I cannot keep playing this waiting game anymore... I need action, and I will get an ending to all of this one way or the other, I swear to it.
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Don't set deadlines. You feel like an idiot when they go swooping past and you're still alive.
  3. music_junkie

    music_junkie Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty set on this one.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Don't listen to aoeu. You can change your deadline anytime you want. Hopefully it will be along time away. Ialso have changed my deadline to a couple of months away instead of last weekend. There are some issues that have made the change. We would rather see you set a deadline more to the positive side. Take Care!~Joseph~
  5. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    When I set a date, i give it 5 days to see if something will change and each time something good has come my way to make me change my mind. Give it time and change the deadline as often as needed. Hang in there hun, something will soon happend and help is on the way so hang in there please and dont give up.

    be well and stay safe
    granny xx
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Friday is only a day away. Please don't do this. Keep trying to get help. :hug:
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Please dont do it , there has to be another here if you need to talk.
  8. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    It doesn't sound like a good hospital whatsoever. Where do you live? Perhaps there are other hospitals that can help you.
  9. music_junkie

    music_junkie Well-Known Member


    thanks to all of you who replied.

    i just dont know if i have the energy to pursue help, when NO ONE seems to be able to give it to me.

    or, keep their word when they say that they can.
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Lean on us. We hear you loud and clear. The best advice I have received is take baby steps. Don't set your goals to high, and live for the day,the future will take care of itself. That is just some of what I have been told and actually have sort of intertwined them to fit my personality. All you can do is take it one day ata time and tell yourself in the mornings when you get up "NOT TODAY". Remember we are here and if you want a little privacey then PM US. Take Care!~Joseph~
  11. music_junkie

    music_junkie Well-Known Member

    one day at a time until when? When will the day appear when it won't just be survival, or existing for the sake of existence?

    It terrifies me to think that that day will never come, and that I will have simply lived a life "one day at a time."

    I think that would be even worse then a completed suicide.
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