Friend Circles

[SAVE_ME]

Hi. I posted this here cause it is somewhat to do with relationships. Anyway, I can't quite explain it, but whenever I have a friend, I feel very uneasy around their 'circle of friends'. Like....they have this tendency to kinda ignore me when their other friends are around, and I end up feeling neglected in favour of them. Why is that? Why do I automatically get shut out of this little 'circle of friends'?

I dunno...it's like today for example, my gf was talking with a few of her old friends from high school, and it was like she completely forgot about me. People are always talking to each other, messaging them, texting them or w/e, and I just feel left out. And before anyone says that I should "try talking to them myself", it's not as simple as that. Even when I do try talking or w/e, nobody really gives a damn. They just give short, 'robotic' kind of answers, but then they seem so buddy buddy with each other. I just feel so left out and jealous because of it. I hardly have very many friends as it is.

 

[pastelmoon]

It is normal to feel like that. You just have to let yourself become more comfortable around other people. The only way to do that is to force yourself into those kinds of situations. I sometimes feel neglected too but then I realize that I'm not talking or doing anything to draw attention to myself. So then why should I expect others to notice me unless I speak up? Over time if you work on it you will feel more confident and these feelings will fade.

 

[ggg456]

People are like that. I don't know why. I never understood it myself. If I had ever had a group of friends laugh::laugh I'd always make anyone new feel welcome. Maybe people just get excited and forget to be polite and have a few manners/courtesy?

I do know the left out feeling. In the past, I usually amused myself by just watching it all and waiting until they realised my presence, or I'd get bored and wander off, come back, see if anyone's missed me and if they hadn't I'd just leave for good and wait for my so called 'friend' to find me after that :wink:

I know what you mean though.

 

[Sa Palomera]

during my time at secondary school I was basically in 2 groups of friends. There was a group of girls with whom I was friends, whom I saw at school and all, and there was a group of guys I was friends with, whom I saw every saturday.

There was a huge difference between them. The group of girls was like what you sketched. They weren't really 'open' to new people. Like they tried a bit, or at least a few of them would try, I guess, but for some reason it was really 'closed' towards new people. Probably cos of the memories and stories within the group.. I don't know. :dunno:

The group of guys on the other hand. They were always open for new people. Anytime. If one of us would take along another friend they'd easily be taken into the group. Very laid back, chill atmosphere within this group. Every person I've taken along to go out with the guys has liked it so far, probably mostly because of this openness and laid back sphere. Everyone's accepted and we all try to involve the 'new' person in our conversations, which normally happens easily.

I'm not sure what makes this difference. But for some reason I have a feeling that it's easier to 'get into' a group of guys than a group of gals. I'm not sure why I think so, really though :unsure:
I guess a lot also has to do with the types of persons in the group. I think that a group which exists out of a lot of totally different personalities, takes 'new' people in easier, than a group of people who are very similar to each other, especially if this 'new' person has different interests and passions than the rest of the group.

But I don't know. Just my thoughts... :dunno:

 

[delerious]

i know how you feel... i feel like that alot too. i don't have many friends either, and it is hard to just "put yourself in those situations".. i don't know that i can help you because i can't really help myself..but i understand.. i think it's just harder for some people.