friend who may be bipolar

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by LouisLeGros, Jul 18, 2007.

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  1. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    I have a friend who I suspect may be bipolar.

    I only want the best for her, but sometimes even keeping in contact with her is extremely difficult. We normally discuss intelliectul mtters and I'll listen to her rants and problems. However, just a couple days go she blew up on me after a few days that were a lot more tense & hostile beyond the two us, mostly on her side.

    She has pretty much just completly talking to me now after two incidents. One of these incidents was when over Windows Live I was really down and started ranting about it and evntually got myself so down that I tried to stab myself and was thinking about suicide and she just got really frustrated about how I'm completly socially inept & bing up inappropriate things and that I will never be happy with how much I think & that maybe I should kill myself if I wanted to.

    After a couple more chats over the next couple days I sent her an email saying I thought something was upseting her and if it was me I'm sorry or if you aren't upset then just ignore the message and that I'd be there for her if she wanted any help or just someone to talk to.

    Her reply to that basically stated were not close at all, we are not good friends (She didn't say there was no friendship like she had in similar message bout 8 months ago), that I'm really immature and juvenille, and a lot of other stuff that relates to problems with anxiety, depression & lack of social anything on my behalf.

    I have tried talking with her since that message, usually with very lighthearted non serious or emotion things. I'll send her funny pictures or ask if one of her friends every went on that one date.

    The reason I suspect her being bipolar is that she just seemed like she changed a bit and that she has done this before (last time was a lot worse and we didn't talk for like over a month until one day she just randomly apologized to me when we ran into each other at school.

    She has a history of various mental health issues in her family, her mother was abusive and has left her emotionally scared. She has very fluctuating self esteem. She is also quite intelligent, I don't like saying it but she sometimes makes me feel stupid when talking with her & I consider myself very intelligent.

    I'm not sure if this recent change with her is because of my heaviier relince on her for emotional support since I have not had therapy in over a month and she has become my only outlet. I don't know if it is the stress all around her. I just know something is wrong from her behavior and things implied from the message she sent me.

    When she gets like this she is really different. Now I wouldn't call her the most sensitive person in the world regardless of situation, but she contradicted a lot of things in her message to me.

    She has told me numerous times things bout her relationships & thoughts that she tells me she only tells to her close friends, however now she goes and says we aren't close at all and it isn't something new.

    I have way too much "dirt" on her for me not to be a close friend. She has told me a lot of very sensitive thigs that I don't think you would tell someone you aren't close to.

    Anyways I'm really unsure about the situation & I miss my only friend. I know something is wrong I can feel it and it was certainly implied in the message from her. I'm thinking it is bipolar disorder (I know she has been on anti psychotics before) & I really want to help her. I just don't want to lose/damage my friendship.
  2. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    You cant help anyone who doesnt want help.

    Keep offering support whether they take it or not and hope they open up to you,

    its hard but you cant force someone to face up to who they are.

    If she does talk to you, try and get her to go back to her doctor, and discuss things with them
  3. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    I'm not trying to force help onto her (I think she may have interpreted it that way though).
  4. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    Not saying you are, I must of mis interpretted, I thought you wanted advice on how to help her to save your friendship.

    I was just saying, sadly, we cant solve other peoples pain we can only support them, and we can only do that if they want us to.

    So the only way to save your friendship is to develop a thick skin and be supportive, which is near impossible if your in pain too..
  5. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    I have developed a very very thick shell over the years.

    I wanted to know what others thought abot my hypothesis & if they thought she may be bipolar as well ways to deal with a bipolar person.

    Then advice fo getting her back to normal would be great too. Right now I'm just trying to keep away from dirrect contact (IM & phone) and leaving non serious messages over things like facebook & email.
  6. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    There are hints in your desciption that she might be bi-polar but it's hard to know for sure. Does he have mood swings and by that I mean extreme mood swings?

    As for trying to bridge that gap in your friendship. I think she said all those nasty things not because she means it but because she is probably trying tp push you away. Some people say or do something but deep down they want the person there doing it to, to keep on fighting for them.
  7. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    Bipolar I Disorder, Single Manic Episode

    * Presence of only one Manic Episode and no past Major Depressive Episodes.
    Note: Recurrence is defined as either a change in polarity from depression or an interval of at least 2 months without manic symptoms.

    Bipolar I Disorder, Most Recent Episode Hypomanic

    * Currently (or most recently) in a Hypomanic Episode.
    * There has previously been at least one Manic Episode or Mixed Episode.

    Bipolar I Disorder, Most Recent Episode Manic

    * Currently (or most recently) in a Manic Episode.
    * There has previously been at least one Major Depressive Episode, Manic Episode, or Mixed Episode.

    Bipolar I Disorder, Most Recent Episode Mixed

    * Currently (or most recently) in a Mixed Episode.
    * There has previously been at least one Major Depressive Episode, Manic Episode, or Mixed Episode.

    Bipolar II Disorder

    * Presence (or history) of one or more Major Depressive Episodes and at least one Hypomanic Episode. Additionally, there has never been a Manic Episode or a Mixed Episode.
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