Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shadowonthewall, Aug 3, 2014.

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  1. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    I've found that very few people can relate to the experience of being absolutely friendless, even on message boards dealing with social anxiety and suicide. Apparently it takes a very unique type of loser to be friendless. However, is anyone else currently experiencing this? Difficulty with making friends is something that has plagued me throughout my entire life. I don't think that I made my first friend until I was about 8 or 9, when my sister found this other lonely child in the school playground and we started playing together, eventually becoming best friends until the end of primary school. I've never had more than 2 real friends at any time, and have gone stretches of years without a single friend. I am currently completely friendless and there doesn't appear to be any hope of changing this. I find it very difficult to relate to others and have a very negative mindset, so it is difficult to constantly think of positive things to talk about. I think that one of the secrets to a successful friendship is being comfortable sharing each others' mundanity, but I have always found the mundanity of my own life circumstances to be shameful and somehow worse than that of other people. My development as an adult is embarrassingly stunted in a number of regards, and this also includes lack of employment prospects and continuing to live with my parents at the age of 30. In terms of romantic relationships, my only experience comes from a brief fling with a man I met on the internet.

    I have myriad reasons for considering my life to be unworthy of the living, but another of my many, many failings as a human being is an abject lack of courage.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I have no idea what message boards you are talking about however there are a lot of people that use this forum and chat that don't have friends. I have friends but they're kinda distant if you get me, like, I don't really have anyone I could just ring and talk however I have friends that I go to a slimming club with. I'm currently trying to rebuild my life after coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship. I do hope however that you will find and relate to people here and you can overcome these suicidal thoughts. Good luck to you.
  3. insiiideouuut

    insiiideouuut Well-Known Member

    I have no friends, online or offline. I used to think it was because I'm so socially awkward that I'm incapable of making any/maintaining friendships, then I realised it's actually because I don't want any and prefer my own company.
  4. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your response. I've had casual friends that I spoke to at work and a guy at university with whom I played squash (how I miss having fun!). Hopefully I will find people to whom I can relate. That seems to be tough no matter where I go, online or off.
  5. Viktor

    Viktor Well-Known Member

    I have no friends too. I always had like 3 friends max. One of them doesn't care about me anymore. Second one does, but he doesn't take me too seriously. And third friendship is quite unstable. But most of the time i'm alone. And it makes me really sad. It makes me psychically weak too. I'm unable to do anything. You can PM me anytime. I'd like to make more friends at least online.
  6. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    I used to be OK without having friends. I did have fantasies wherein I had a group of close friends, just like on TV shows that I had seen. Yet, I managed to enjoy my own company well enough, as long as I was finding something with which to engage my mind and my interest. In the years since leaving university, I've started to crave companionship, and any attempt that I make to try and enjoy my time can sometimes seem hollow, knowing that I've been unable to find a single person who wanted to share those experiences with me.
  7. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    I have taken you up on your offer, and it is appreciated. I also find myself stuck in a vicious circle whereby it is harder to do anything because I feel withered up inside from the loneliness...and because I feel withered up inside from the loneliness, I cannot make friends.
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I could relate to much of what you said, and I am also friendless, outside of this site at least. The only people I talk to are from here, with the exception of maybe one other person, but the only people I spend time with on a regular basis are family members. I also have trouble relating to others, and we are pretty much in the same situations, in regards to age, life development, and more. If you would like someone to talk to, you feel free to message me at any time, and I'd be more than happy to talk.
  9. Empoisonner

    Empoisonner Member

    It took me until February/March of this year to find two people I classified as true friends, people who taught me what I really want in a companion.

    Until then I felt completely alone despite being cared for and loved by others ("Friends" and family)

    I don't see myself ever really getting past the whole love roadblock because I am just a rather loveless and callous person and the idea of finding some significant other to spend my days with seems unlikely. But from what I see it is better to live with dreams then to wallow in self pity and loneliness.

    I just try to enjoy what I do have. We all have something, but sometimes it just isn't always what we want so we ignore it completely.

    At least that is how it was for me.
  10. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    I love your signature quote.
  11. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    I only talk a few people online but besides that I have no one that I speak to in real life, the isolation really eats at me. Even online I only talk to people through messages, so it isn't a whole lot. I have social anxiety and severe depression at this point so it is hard to think straight or be "normal".
  12. transparent

    transparent Well-Known Member

    I'm 24 an have one friend, but I can't be honest to them. I can't tell them everything. They don't know I have this crippling depression. More times than not, I'm friendless.
  13. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    I have never had many friends. I have had a lot of acquaintances and still do but essentially I have one or two friends and that's it. I don't even see them or talk to them very often. I spend most of my time with my partner who is absolutely friendless but has taught me that it is OK to be alone. I find most people very superficial and it's hard work to be 'chatty'. I realise now that I don't have many friends because I don't let people near and actually don't really want people around. I like to do my own thing and I find other people interfere with what I want to do. What used to torment me was the belief that I 'should' have friends and that I was failure if I didn't; now I know that it's OK to be independent - which is how I prefer to think of it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2014
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