I've found that very few people can relate to the experience of being absolutely friendless, even on message boards dealing with social anxiety and suicide. Apparently it takes a very unique type of loser to be friendless. However, is anyone else currently experiencing this? Difficulty with making friends is something that has plagued me throughout my entire life. I don't think that I made my first friend until I was about 8 or 9, when my sister found this other lonely child in the school playground and we started playing together, eventually becoming best friends until the end of primary school. I've never had more than 2 real friends at any time, and have gone stretches of years without a single friend. I am currently completely friendless and there doesn't appear to be any hope of changing this. I find it very difficult to relate to others and have a very negative mindset, so it is difficult to constantly think of positive things to talk about. I think that one of the secrets to a successful friendship is being comfortable sharing each others' mundanity, but I have always found the mundanity of my own life circumstances to be shameful and somehow worse than that of other people. My development as an adult is embarrassingly stunted in a number of regards, and this also includes lack of employment prospects and continuing to live with my parents at the age of 30. In terms of romantic relationships, my only experience comes from a brief fling with a man I met on the internet. I have myriad reasons for considering my life to be unworthy of the living, but another of my many, many failings as a human being is an abject lack of courage.