Friends don't understand...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by jjjoooggg2, Jul 3, 2010.


Do people understand your depression ?

  1. No, they never completely do.

    20 vote(s)
  2. No, but I have one friend that does.

    7 vote(s)
  3. Half of my friends understand my depression.

    0 vote(s)
  4. Most people understand my depression.

    1 vote(s)
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  1. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    Anyone here have problems with friends understanding depression. My bookkeeper said that she has been through depression over her ex fiancee and took anti depressant.

    She has been with us a year and she still doesn't think that I have experienced depression before. I enjoy making jokes with her. But she doen't realize that just before she came to work, that I was thinking of sucide all day long and almost did it but my parents kept calling me.

    She said that I should have just moved out when I was younger and I wouldn't have the problems I have now. It is easier to move out now than it has ever been. I already tried 17 years ago, but that was the most depressing moment right before my bro committed suicide.

    To make a long story short, I'm just wondering if it is most accepted that friends will not understand depression. I've heard of people complaining that their friends have left because of depression.

    My bro's delusions came up. And she said that modern society has more psychological problems. And I said let me explain what I've read about the bible and ancient writings that crazy minds have existed since the beginning of humans. They used to drill holes in people heads to release the demons. This the second time that someone has tried to say that the insane are just recent phenomenon for a spoiled society.

    After all we've talked about, I feel a lack of trust or an economic class barrier, or close mindedness. She told me that I'm definitely not suicidal. That even though she has known no one that has commited suicide that she has known people on anti depressants. Which I can say now that I'm not but my twin bro commited suicide, my sister commited suicide, my cousin commited suicide, and possibly my half mother too. I worked in the restaurant full time since I was 12 with no days off so I do well getting along with most of the employees. One even used to yell at me everyday telling me what to do. That doesn't bother me.

    My psychiatrist said I was suicidal and prescribed anti depressants. This is where the whole conversation started.

    In short, does you friends think that you are full of BS.

    Opps, I have one friend 200 miles away that trusts me because I've known him for over 20 years. And I can talk to him without him second guessing. I can't reverse my poll selection, I guess.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 3, 2010
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I only have one "friend" that understands, and that would be my partner, and even still he doesnt fully get me.
  3. canis-lupis

    canis-lupis Well-Known Member

    I dont expect anyone to understand the way I am.
    hell I dont even understand it myself so it's not fair to expect anyone else to
    but coming here sometimes really does help.

    my mind ? = :missing: I think.

    I may :surrender:
    one day
  4. sinnssykdom

    sinnssykdom Banned Member

    Nope. Though it's partly my fault because i don't tell them everything because i KNOW they won't get it.
  5. TrentGrad

    TrentGrad Well-Known Member

    Well, for all intents and purposes I have no friends...the two that I would call friends are so distant these days and so busy that I still care about them, but don't really lean on them the way friends can usually lean on one another.

    However when it comes to co-workers, what I tend to find is that they seem to assume that how I feel is just normal, and they go through the same challenges themselves. The reality however is that they don't...and that I don't feel comfortable enough telling them about the darkest parts for me.

    Co-workers don't doesn't really understand.
  6. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    I don't think anybody understands. At all. So, I don't tell.

    My sister-in-law tells me over and over that she is "here" for me, but every single time things get bad and I try to talk to her, she just disappears. Then she will tell me that I can call her anytime, and use her as my go to for emergencies. Yeah, right! She disappears. I think she just wants to feel all good inside for thinking she is there for somebody. She's doing a masters in psych, too, so I think it makes her feel like she's good or something. NOT!!

    I only trust my doc. That's it.

    I get really, really lonely. And it hurts so much lately that I think my insides are going to explode. But, what can I do? Nobody really listens. Nobody really cares.

    That's how I've experienced it, anyway.
  7. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    I think I over expected too much from my book keeper. No one can comprehend why a son lives with their parents till they are 40 unless, they've walked in my shoes for the last 30 years. She took for granted her parents blessings. It's too mindboggling. She must realize that there is more to the story. Or she could be ignorant of other situations. Many people just don't know what it's like to be grounded all through high school except working for the family business every day including holidays and summers. I was in a way brainwashed. Until I turned 36, I now realize that my father doesn't appreciate or want me to be happy. He showed his true colors after I graduated at 36. Before I graduated, I thought that with my degree that he would be happy to see me go away to live my life. My psychiatrist said that he "doesn't appreciate" me. You'd have to be a psych researcher to understand why North Korean soldiers are dead set on dying for their country.

    I've been to three psych's and seeing another 2 more. I will be out of the house in under a year.

    In a way, I can't expect her to understand. But my closest friend of 20 years trusts me enough not to second guess what I say. I can't expect someone I've only known for a year to understand.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 3, 2010
  8. Failure_By_Design

    Failure_By_Design Account Closed

    I have some that kinda almost understand, not really but they try to. I also have one person battling themselves so it's not the same cause it will never be the exact same for two people I'm sure of it, but it's a start.
  9. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    my friends know i self harm, and that i've attempted suicide, but they don't understand why. unlike most of them, i have my own place, i get a fair amount of money, and they ask why would you want to lose all that? most people are too materialistic to understand depression.
  10. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    All but one of my friends have psychiatric illnesses and of those all have major depression (one with DID). I get through some of the most excruciating depressions by being with people who know exactly how I feel. I believe I will give up one day and I have only made it this day because of my friends.
  11. Matrias

    Matrias Active Member

    wow man..alot of ppl in ur family have died from i feel bad
  12. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I really feel for you jooog :(. Must be crushing having that many people commit. No one knows I'm depressed, let alone suicidal. I'm way to scared to think they'll judge me and just push me away because they'll say I'm an "emo". I don't even look like a fucking emo. One of my "mates" had a a girlfriend with depression a year or so back, once he found out she had depression it sounds like he just dumped her. Like what a fuck stick. Sometimes people just make me wanna shove a pencil in their eye and gouge it around. Like if I had a partner I wouldn't be like "OMIGOD YOU'RE INSANE. BAI". That's basicly saying, "Sure, go kill yourself.". I myself would rather try to support them, let them know that someone actually understands. Not just make them lonely and more dangerous to themselves :(.
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I voted no because I haven't had any friends in twenty one years.. I have made some here at the forum but for the most part I haven't had anyone..
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