I've just activated my facebook that I never used.. and over the past hour I've seen almost a dozen peoples accounts from my past in one way or another. Just their names popping up, and I click to see a photo of them. Fuck.. i dont know who the hell I was, and I dont know who I am now, but I'm just starting to get very tensed and somewhat angry atm. They are living their lives.. and wtf am I doing. and I've lost them all. Well I've lost that what was before. And this path Ive made for myself is nothing better. Well some of it is. The people in my life are better. Not in comparison I just mean, the people in my life wouldnt be here if it was not for the choices I made, and I wouldn't trade a single thing if it meant loseing them. I just.. wow. looking back at highschool. At the couple years after it. I want to rage. I know I do. It's been awhile since I found a stupid reason to rage, lately ive been without any reason. Everythings been rationalized and I feel like a lump of jelly but right now, I want to rage and rip and shake life. atleast I feel it. feels better. Ive stopped looking. When I look i see all Ive missed, all ive missed in their lives. Selfish **** I am. Fuck it. Fuck it fuck it fuckit . they're better off. Hell everyone is. Fucking hell I did the fucking right thing. Should stick to my decision and keep everyone the fuckaway. They'll just get burned.