My best friend Brendan committed suicide 5 years ago. He was 19. His father committed suicide 2 years prior. No one knows why Brendan did this. It was around the time that his father went missing, so I think this may be why. He was drunk when he did it. No one talks about it any more. Brendan used to always talk about how lucky he was to have his father for 17 years. He never mentioned depression or sadness or anger. Nothing like that. It seemed like he was at peace. Now I find myself constantly fighting with myself. I know that I have the potential to do so many things. But I feel lost. It's not because of Brendan, it's because of me. I just wish that he was alive, because then we could hang out and everything would be okay. But he's gone and now I know that everything might not be okay. Anyone else out there that feels like this?