Friends with benefits.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by talkingcrazy, Feb 24, 2014.

  1. talkingcrazy

    talkingcrazy Member

    I have always wanted to be in a real relationship. But since I have only ever known FWB, I always assume that I must just not be good enough for someone to want to date me.

    I had a really good friend, a guy a bit older than me that I was seriously attracted to. He is a big flirt and I just assumed our relationship was going to be platonic, but one night things changed. I figured, and was okay with, that he would just want to hookup a couple times. He was so different than how I imagined. I tried to play it off like it was cool if it was a one or two time occasion, but, he wanted more. It was/is so surreal, we have the most amazing chemistry. I never really even enjoyed sex until I met him, and it is always amazing. Even after a few months, he kept reassuring me that he would "never disrespect me" and "is so grateful to have a friend and lover like me in his life", "no one makes me feel like you do". I never brought up a relationship, because I am fine with what we have right now. I kept trying to even give him an out of the fwb if he wanted to stop.

    But the past few months I haven't seen or heard from him much. It's like every month, he'll go just a little bit longer without texting me or seeing me. At first, we'd see eachother a few times a month... then a couple, then once... now I haven't seen him in two months. The time is unbearable almost. We still text and he seems like he really wants to see me, and I know he has a bit of a crazy schedule... but I feel like he could make time to see me. I just feel like something is going on. When we are together, its like nothing is different... then once we get in the cars to leave I'm a stranger for a couple weeks til' he texts me. (I try not to text him first/all the time because I don't want to bother him). I figure he is probably seeing other girls... but even so.. I would still like to see him.

    I dont know what to do. Although ultimately I would want a relationship... I know that might not happen, and I am fine with fwb... I'm not really okay with how we don't talk or see eachother near as much. I don't know how to confront this without potentially pushing him away?
     
  2. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    Hi Talkingcrazy

    The trouble with leaving all the running to him is it puts him in control of your current FWB status & any possible future relationship

    If he is not married or in a live-in relationship then you need not worry about texting him - he rarely texts you so perhaps you should take the initiative & text him for a change Talkingcrazy

    tc

    :freehug:
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you have chosen not to define it further then he may be in the exact situation you - just unsure what the arrangement is or what it could become. Some communication is needed , and 2 months without any communication would indicate it needs to start slowly and get defined more clearly - a simple "been missing our time together" and on the next meeting, whatever that context is- express you want to see more of him maybe. Worst that could happen is he says not interested, but if he has not been in touch for 2 months that is really a "no change" , so there is no down side.....
     
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Time does fly by when ones so busy working and dealing with the holidays. Instead of wondering whats up just give him a call and touch bases with him so you know where you guys stand. Have lunch or something.
     
  5. talkingcrazy

    talkingcrazy Member

    well i messaged and said a i miss you and got no response all day. i'm so ready to give up on everything.
     
  6. Cat of Spades

    Cat of Spades Well-Known Member

    I'm a bit confused, what is wrong with your current setup?

    You both seem to enjoy each other's company and you both seem to be adults, why damage that?
     
  7. talkingcrazy

    talkingcrazy Member

    Because I would like to see him more or talk to him more. I know its just friends with benefits but we were really gooods friends before and hung out more than we do now. I miss seeing him.