Friends with benefits.

#1
I have always wanted to be in a real relationship. But since I have only ever known FWB, I always assume that I must just not be good enough for someone to want to date me.

I had a really good friend, a guy a bit older than me that I was seriously attracted to. He is a big flirt and I just assumed our relationship was going to be platonic, but one night things changed. I figured, and was okay with, that he would just want to hookup a couple times. He was so different than how I imagined. I tried to play it off like it was cool if it was a one or two time occasion, but, he wanted more. It was/is so surreal, we have the most amazing chemistry. I never really even enjoyed sex until I met him, and it is always amazing. Even after a few months, he kept reassuring me that he would "never disrespect me" and "is so grateful to have a friend and lover like me in his life", "no one makes me feel like you do". I never brought up a relationship, because I am fine with what we have right now. I kept trying to even give him an out of the fwb if he wanted to stop.

But the past few months I haven't seen or heard from him much. It's like every month, he'll go just a little bit longer without texting me or seeing me. At first, we'd see eachother a few times a month... then a couple, then once... now I haven't seen him in two months. The time is unbearable almost. We still text and he seems like he really wants to see me, and I know he has a bit of a crazy schedule... but I feel like he could make time to see me. I just feel like something is going on. When we are together, its like nothing is different... then once we get in the cars to leave I'm a stranger for a couple weeks til' he texts me. (I try not to text him first/all the time because I don't want to bother him). I figure he is probably seeing other girls... but even so.. I would still like to see him.

I dont know what to do. Although ultimately I would want a relationship... I know that might not happen, and I am fine with fwb... I'm not really okay with how we don't talk or see eachother near as much. I don't know how to confront this without potentially pushing him away?
 

Twocky61

Banned Member
#2
Hi Talkingcrazy

The trouble with leaving all the running to him is it puts him in control of your current FWB status & any possible future relationship

If he is not married or in a live-in relationship then you need not worry about texting him - he rarely texts you so perhaps you should take the initiative & text him for a change Talkingcrazy

tc

:freehug:
 

JmpMster

Owner Emeritus
#3
If you have chosen not to define it further then he may be in the exact situation you - just unsure what the arrangement is or what it could become. Some communication is needed , and 2 months without any communication would indicate it needs to start slowly and get defined more clearly - a simple "been missing our time together" and on the next meeting, whatever that context is- express you want to see more of him maybe. Worst that could happen is he says not interested, but if he has not been in touch for 2 months that is really a "no change" , so there is no down side.....
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
Time does fly by when ones so busy working and dealing with the holidays. Instead of wondering whats up just give him a call and touch bases with him so you know where you guys stand. Have lunch or something.
 

Cat of Spades

Well-Known Member
#6
I'm a bit confused, what is wrong with your current setup?

You both seem to enjoy each other's company and you both seem to be adults, why damage that?
 
#7
Because I would like to see him more or talk to him more. I know its just friends with benefits but we were really gooods friends before and hung out more than we do now. I miss seeing him.
 

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