Some things arnt easy to avoid. especially people wanting you to be something your not. It's a good choice you make to be who you are, although it does push people away as well. Do you have any interests you might share with other people, you might get lucky and find someone similar in mind?
I find it difficult to engage in conversation with almost eveybody. I think the problem is that I tend to talk about cutting, burning and overdosing a lot and surprisingly most people don't like that.. :mellow:
Hahaha ''It makes cheery dinnertime conversation'' :laugh:
I'm a self harmer. Why do I do it? Er. It helps me feel calm instead of agitated. It helps me feel happier about life. I like hurting myself. I like seeing blood. I like looking at the scars. It's addictive. Though I'd be horrified if I knew somebody who self harmed. I'd think, ''How can they do it to themselves?''. Strange considering I do it to myself. Yes, I hate myself.
I am not cutting myself, nor do I see myself doing it in the future. It sure is an odd way of coping. Isn't it strange how things like that work Ruby? Where you wouldn't like it if othe people did it but yet you do it yourself. Weird eh? Why do you hate yourself?
I have a lot of friends but I'm a very introverted person. I used to have a ton of social anxiety but now it's gone. I think one has a lot to live for even if they don't have friends.
"He who travels fastest, travels alone."
I'm sure some of you have heard that quote. I happen to find an odd coolness in being a loner and I pretty much am popular without really wanting to be. I think it's way cooler though to know YOURSELF fully and maybe have a couple good friends (or not) then to be the talk of the town and deeply lost inside.
The only time I have cut myself is when I was trying to commit suicide. But it's so damn hard to reach the arteries that I was just left with about 20 scars all over my left arm that probably won't fade for a couple years. I think it's kind of fun cutting yourself though, in a weird way.
Yes I'm fully aware that I'm strange. It's a way of coping, just like smoking/drinking alcohol/doing drugs/binge eating. It has helped me and I find it enjoyable, so I won't be stopping anytime soon :wink:
I wasn't necessarily saying that you were strange, just how things like that work. That is, saying that they dont like it when people do stuff and then do it themselves. Thats all.
Also, it's not that I have a few friends. I have NO friends. Theres a HUGE difference (even if it means the difference between one person). I have people that know my name, and I know theirs, but thats about the extent of our "friendship."
viper, im sorry for posting such rude replys before.
the truth is, i also have no friends. i have met a couple people here on the forum whom are so kind and so caring towards me, but they are miles away. i have no physical friends to share myself with. to just hang with. not one. i understand how it feels to be so alone. it kills. and i know why it makes one want to kill themselves. its such a horrible feeling. and i understand what you mean between the huge difference of one and none. all i ask for is just one person to understand me. just one will do. but nothing right? i go against the grain too. outcasts. im so sorry you have to feel this way. i just want you to know that i totally understand.
I thought it odd that you had around 40 posts and you were responding the way you were. So I had wanted to see other stuff you had posted before. (this is before I saw this last post from you) I did so and realized that you are not always like that so then it didn't bother me. But at the same time it had bothered me a lot because I couldn't understand why you were just being like that to just me. But thanks for apologizing cuz it means a lot. But yah, one person is all I ask. Everyone takes friends for granted. Some people don't even have friends at all but they have the illusion that they do because they can't bare to think that nobody likes them. I am real and will not 'pretend' to be friends with somebody that is not friends with me. That way, when I do meet a real friend, it will actually have meaning. Where are you from noplacetogo?