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Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by yadayadayada, Aug 30, 2007.

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  1. yadayadayada

    yadayadayada Guest

    :wub: here, :wub: there. Love you!

    "I've made such good friends on SF!"

    BS. All fucking BS. As soon as you leave the site or get sectioned or don't have any internet access anymore, or just simply can't access this particular site anymore, you'll see who your real friends are.

    Hah. I know I've mistaken myself in many friendships.
    Some have stayed as they were and I'm very happy with those, but those are mainly the friends whom I didn't talk with on daily basis.
    But the ones whom I used to talk to every day, the ones I used to love so much, the ones I used to try to give so much.. all finito.

    It's sad. Of course I'm not happy with it. I tried. I have. But obviously I'm not as important to people as they said I was.

    I was right all along, that part in my head was right all along.
    I'm not even angry at people or anything. I'm just angry at myself. That I had myself fooled into believing everyone. My bad, I should've known better. I've had myself fooled into internet friendships so many times before. And only very few have turned out to be the way they said to be. Why do I still believe people?

    Unbelievably isn't it, that the people I never was really close with, or didn't talk much to, haven't forgotten about me and seem to care, whereas the ones I gave so much love, the ones I was so fucking close to that I honestly thought the friendships would last even after me leaving this site, can't be arsed to care.
    But yeah.. it's my own fault.
    I guess from now on, online is online. The few online friends that have proven themselves to really be friends, I'll cherish them, a few in particular. But no new online friendships. I'll only end up being fooled into believing that I'm actually loved and cared for. Hah.

    Ah well at least I've proven once again what an idiot I am :laugh:

    Thank you.
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    with no internet access it's a little hard.
  3. It is difficult to maintain relationships over internet only. I guess you are not happy because you tried to develop relationships with people you met online that didnt work in RL?
  4. yadayadayada

    yadayadayada Guest

    Oh, that's not my problem, I have plenty of friends in real life. And when I first came to this site I didn't even mean to make friends, I just wanted to die, or vent a bit or something (can't even remember anymore). I ended up making 'friends', whom I loved and who said to love me too.
    Guess I was a fool for believing most of them, eh.

    But yeah. Sorry I basically just needed that out. I'm done now.
    I don't blame anyone.

    Actually I'm thankful for making me see what's the case. At least now I know and don't have to be fooled any longer :smile:
  5. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    People never mean what they say... it IS all bs, I agree!
  6. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    Something tells me I think I know who this is. :dry:

    (I could be wrong.)
  7. syntaxerror

    syntaxerror Antiquities Friend

    if you have plenty of friends IRL - you are very blessed.
  8. Indeed. Being freindless in RL has me wondering about my friends here and what happened to them when I losty my internet access & went inactive for months. The one's who were most freindly to me are no longer online at SF ever. I just hope that they are doing ok. :yes:
  9. Blah.

    Blah. Guest

    I agree. But I know what you're saying yadda. I don't trust the internet/online friendship thing at all so never have made any friends. I know the internet can only do so much in making one feel less isolated- and I'm glad when someone actually talks to me, but when it comes to enduring friendships...the whole process of interaction, show of 'love' especially when it HAS to be a public display just seems a bit put on to me.
  10. Deathly Strike

    Deathly Strike Well-Known Member

    I think I know where you're coming from, but you have to understand that maintaining an online friendship, relationship or any sort of bond is made difficult by the lack of face-to-face communication. Of course, there are times when you can make some true friends online, and like you mentioned, you'll only find out who they are once you've been cut off or whatever. Over the last few years in which I've locked myself away, I've made some good friends online. One's who live nowhere near me, but whom I talk to on a regular basis. These friends have stuck with me through thick and thin, and for that I thank them. I, too, have also discovered that once you're cut off for some reason then you're true friends are revealed. It's those people I've stuck with.
  11. yadayadayada

    yadayadayada Guest

    With plenty friends irl, I mean that I have as many as I need.
    I have a few friends in the city where I used to live, but as I live quite far from there now I only see them like once every 2 months now, but it's always great to have fun with them.
    The place where I live now I have a few good mates, my roomies.
    And I have made a good friend at therapy.

    Plenty is not necessarily many. Plenty friends for me, could be 2 people.
    If I wouldn't live in a studenthome, I wouldn't have any friends around here either.

    @Syiah: I think you're right. :hug:

    See I believed people when they said they love me and that I'm a good friend of theirs. Now I realize I'm so naïve.
    When I realized I was always the one initiating contact with everyone, I stopped doing that. And now I see, there's only 4 people from this site who actually bother to contact me. One of them being my partner, one of them never coming on here, and I've met her via another site anyway, and 2 of them are people I never really was very close with.
    None of the people I was so close with contact me anymore these days. And you know, I'm fine with it. It frustrates me on one hand, but on the other hand I'm glad I finally see things the way they are.

    As soon as you leave this site, you don't exist anymore for your 'friends' on here.
    And you know, In a way I'm glad with that. Cos now I know better than to spend hours and hours on instant messengers talking to people I've met online. I can spend my time better by sleeping or hanging around the house with my roomies.
    The lesson I've learned (and it's sad it took me so long to realize it): don't waste too much time on people you meet online who say they're your 'friends' cos it's only very rare that you actually make FRIENDS online.
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