Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jakecat, Jun 19, 2010.

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  1. jakecat

    jakecat New Member

    i just found this forum, and instantly i have found what i consider as my closest friends.. we may be half way accross the world from each other but from the posts and threads that i just read, you all seem closer to me than anyone else in my life right now.

    A quick summary, I live in Australia, i've spent the last three years of my life with a girl who i've always considered my best friend/more than a friend, one of those people who are worth a million times more to you than every single atom and molecule and piece of anything you've ever felt...they are everything... she was my blood brother, we would get drunk together, ride our skateboards around town together, do everything, talk about how we will grow old and in 20 years time when we are still alone and fucked up we will get married and be the reason that we're still here... everything.

    She is now dating one of my best friends. i dont know how it happened, she stopped replying to my sms's... we stopped talking, and within two weeks she told me she'd been hanging out with my friend conor, but they werent together.. for 2 weeks i was broken.. until today, i went on face book to find, 'conor and danielle are in a relationship' .. i am dead

    I cant speak, i cant think, nothing... i just want to lie on my back on the floor and stare at the roof forever.

    For the first time in my life i just dont know what to do, i can never see my friends again. the worst part is, on the facebook thing there were about 20 people's feedback saying they "like this".. who is on my side? especially when everybody knew how close we were, it feels like theyre all just saying, 'oh well, jake will get over it.' i dont know. I feel like .. i dont know, like a bird with one leg and no feathers and everyone just looks at it and feels sorry for it and watches it limp about and wonders why it is still alive.

    but like i said, reading over previous posts, i can see that everyone on this forum is accepting and in the same situation, so to all of you, i wish you well, and hope we can all find a way through this. x
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You would want to be with someone that can recipricate the feeling same feeling you have for them right. Go find that special someone don't waiste another minute over what can't be go find something tht can be probably more better than the last one okay Get out and meet all kinds of people do it now while your still young. there is someone better for you out there :hugtackles:
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry to say that you may have blown it.. You two were so close didn't you think about getting in a relationship.. She more than likely got tired of waiting for you..Now... Thats the past, you are still young and will find someone new..It takes time but you need to open your eys so you don't miss out again..Sorry if this sounds harsh.. I beleive yoou have a good chance of finding someone new..
  4. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    Its clear she didn't think the way you did
    Or maybe, like stranger said, she was tired of waiting.
    I find it kind of rude she just randomly stopped talking, maybe she was trying to avoid hurting you?

    I'm sorry this happened, but I'm glad you made friends here. If you need me drop me a pm sometime.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :sweat: .... sounds like you were only a kiss away from having your soulmate. It is rather dumb that she stopped talking to you. However, that is what girls do. My friend Z... who is basically my ex... although not officially... did the same to me. She found someone who would be her boyfriend. Now she focuses on him. It means she still has strong feelings she is trying to escape... or at least I would like to think so.

    :lol!: now it is time for a little revenge. Go out and show her you are just as capable of replacing her in your life as she was able to do to you. :lol!: does she have any friends?

    Join me in my quest to never miss another oppurtunity... :p I can elaborate more in PM. So lets talk, be my buddy in my quest.
  6. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I think when someone finds that they have an interest in somebody and they start to get to know that person better, other things fade into the background a little and you don't even realise it's happening. When I first met my ex-boyfriend I let my relationship with my school friends suffer, even though I didn't mean for it to, I just had other things on my mind; my attention focused elsewhere.

    I can't help but wonder why you never tried to make a move on her/tell her how you felt in all the years that you were friends? Maybe you were afraid of ruining the friendship? Whatever the reason is, you can't expect her to sit around forever waiting for something to happen. She was always going to date someone eventually, it just happened to be your best friend Connor.

    I'm sorry that you're feeling down about this, I truly am, and I hope that eventually things sort itself out and that you're able to move on, if that's what is to happen. It just takes time.
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sorry to hear that your potential relationship didn't work the way you would have liked it to. I have no way of knowing how she felt about you throughout your relationship although it sounds as i you assumed it would be nothing more than plutonic for the time being anyway. Sometimes we get so used to having someone in our lives that we take for granted they will always be there. I hope the two of you can resolve things and at least go back to being friends. Good friends are hard to find. Don't be afraid to get out there and meet new people and forge new relationships. If you were truly soulmates, she would have waited a lifetime for you. Your true love is still out there somewhere. I am glad you have found a home in our community. I hope you find it continues to feel like a place you would like to stay.
  8. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    I feel like .. i dont know, like a bird with one leg and no feathers and everyone just looks at it and feels sorry for it and watches it limp about and wonders why it is still alive.
    Jakecat, very well put. I am so sorry. I know how you feel.
  9. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    She's ignoring you, too?

    Sounds like she's being completely unreasonable to me. This is just an asshole move on her part.

  10. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    That must of burned you Jakecat, sorry about that. But there is this one statement that just can't be ignored.. "there are plenty of fishes in the water." and that is sooo true.
  11. Schannah

    Schannah Member

    I kind of had this when I was in school. I had this friend that I was really close to, and I mean really, really close. We would talk about everything we wouldn't tell anybody else (I even helped him through his dad's death, to the extent where he said he wasn't sure if he could have survived without me), spend all our time together, gravitate to each other at parties instead of chatting to the rest of our friends. I thought we were going to be the Ross and Rachel of our group - as if everybody knew we were meant to be together and eventually it would all fall into place and we'd love each other more than we could love anybody else. I know I certainly felt that way about him for a long time.

    But even though we got it together a few times, even to the point of an official relationship (twice), he was more attracted to other girls, girls who hadn't shared anywhere near as much with him as I had.

    It turns out that romantic love isn't guaranteed by a deep connection - there has to be passion and attraction on both sides, and that's even more important. I spent some time getting over him, and I was angry at him for a long time, but in the end you find other people who will reciprocate your feelings, fully. And it will completely replace the feelings you have now. It's not worth getting into anything with somebody who isn't completely in love with you - you won't be able to train them into it.

    And, even better, you can get that first friendship back, when you're hurting less.
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