Friends... :/

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by AxiomUltimatum, Sep 13, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. AxiomUltimatum

    AxiomUltimatum Well-Known Member

    I used to have an addiction to smoking heroin..( luckily even a Dr can't get a vein let alone some inebriated person)..

    After a while of growing to hate what I had become and hating my self for become dependant, I did everything in my power to give up. I got help etc but I did it.

    Its been three years now and I haven't gone near the stuff.

    While I was using, I had a friend who helped me get help, who supported me and gave me strength. He saw what I became. He saw the vomiting, the pain, the shakes, the sweats. He heard me scream night after night while I slept. He saw me lose weight but most of all, he saw my soul slowly dying and the fire extinguishing from my eyes.

    He asked me today if I could pick up for him...

    I asked him why he wanted to if he saw what happened to me. He told me he would only use for a week and not get addicted. He said he wasn't me....

    I'm so shocked. I don't know what to do or say. It actually hurts.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Is showing your love giving someone (and yourself) what s/he asks for or what s/he needs? Sounds like getting near the fire you might get burned...just my two cents
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    oh hun do not go there okay no heor she is only thinking of their need right now so no do not pick up anything okay don't do it hun
  4. AxiomUltimatum

    AxiomUltimatum Well-Known Member

    Oh, I guess I didn't make it clear that I'm definitely not going to pick up for him. I deleted all the numbers of my dealers a long time ago and I've moved since as well so there's no way of any contact.

    I care far too much to give him what he wants over what he needs.

    I just don't know how I should react to him. What I should say to him. At the moment, I'm completely ignoring him and I know that's not the right thing to do. I just don't know what the right thing is.

    It also feels hurtful that despite seeing everything I went through, he feels he can ask me to walk to the edge so I can see him go through what I went through. But then I feel selfish for thinking like that.

    I know he must be suffering badly to want to do such a thing.

    He's never actually taken heroin and I'm not about to let him start but I know he has taken opium based pain killers.
    I have to be honest now. It's my fault he got addicted to the pain killers. He was in incredible amounts of pain with this illness he had and his Dr, was an arsehole and gave him ibuprofen. I was with him at the dr's. He could barely walk. I couldn't bear to see him in pain so I gave him some of my tramadol. Little did I know that a few days later he went back and got a large prescription off the dr for more and has been getting them on repeat since even though he's better now.

    He told me the dr. stopped giving him the tramadol 3 weeks ago. I know the first few days he felt ill but was back to normal within the week. And now bam.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.