Friendship Scenario Advice?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by yous, Jul 9, 2010.

  1. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I need some opinions on this scenario.

    There is this person A(female) who met person B(male) online. They chatted briefly and sort of made somewhat of a good connection. However they don't know much about each other other than just a few family parents/siblings/career interests/little bit of hobbies....the usual when you get to knowing each other in the beginning.

    Person A met this Person B because of interests in someday moving to the location where Person B lives. Person B decided it would be a good idea to come down and visit, stay at his home over the weekend. Mind you Person A would have to fly down to meet Person B and stay at his home.

    Should Person A do this? She wants to see the location and visit her new potential friend.....but is there anything to worry about in this scenario?
  2. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Why can't person A stay at a hotel instead? In my opinion they don't know each other well enough to go and stay at each other's house... :no:
  3. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Yeah Person A told me it was because it would have been expensive to stay at a hotel. I can see where you are coming from though. She thought she could save money by staying at this person's house. It's just be the weekend. That's all I know.
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Moving way too fast. Maybe it's my mistrust of men, but this person B sounds like he has more than friendship in mind if he's suggesting person A stay at his house so soon. Person A should either wait a lot LOT longer before visiting, so she can get to know person B a lot better and confirm that he is who he is (via webcam, phone, or any other means - he could be an old man for all she knows) or stay somewhere close by like a B&B or hotel if she really wants to meet this guy and visit the area. Money is a small price to pay when it comes to risking ones safety, as is time in the case of her waiting.

    There is a lot to worry about in this scenario, especially given that person A is going to be visiting an unfamiliar place/country where person B will have an advantage if things do turn bad. It might be an idea for person A to bring along a friend or stay with some family (if there are any) on their visit to this place to be extra safe. I really would urge this person not to be so reckless. They shouldn't just trust this person right off the bat.
  5. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Wow, you're so articulate. :) That's very well said! :clap:
  6. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the advice. I will tell her. Now I have to figure how to tell her without her getting angry. I know she's just going to do it anyway.

    Relationships are strange as some of you have found out about me and my time here and as I have learned a lot from all of you. I don't think I'll ever truly understand it fully.
  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I would say that person A should be leery. This guy could be married and just planning on using her, or he could have bad inentions that she has no idea about. To play it safe I would suggest to her to meet up with him in a well crowded area [locally],and to take along a friend. The friend wouldn't even have to be in view, or made known to person B. And then take things slow. Person B may be a great guy and if he is he will understand that you cannot rush things like this. If he cannot maybe he is not the guy person A thinks he is. I will keep person A and B in my prayers. Blessings..
  8. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    This situation would make me very nervous. I would warn her, and make sure that he knows that people know his identity, and that there will be serious repercussions if anything happens to her.
  9. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Oh, well thank you. :]

    Maybe she won't listen to you, yous, but it's worth a try. You're only looking out for her at the end of the day, and she can't exactly get angry over someone trying to secure her safety. You could try suggesting that you make a trip of it together, so it becomes a fun vacation for you both. That way you're looking out for her under the false pretence that you're doing it to have a fun mini vacation together. You can always promise her to go off somewhere else when she wants to meet the guy (and artfully stay within viewing distance).
  10. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    That sounds like a recipe of disaster. Meeting people online is ok, but she should MEET him first before agreeing to stay at his house. Going over someone's house for the weekend most guys would only have one thing on their mind even the most gentle and polite of my kind. How far away are we talking? How old are we talking? If there are parents around that is one thing but a single that lives alone is quite the other.
  11. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    She has to fly down to see him, but its all in the same state. His parents will be away and he's in his mid 20's. I have told her all you guys said, and she feels he's a nice guy. He has assured her that he will be trustworthy and they will have fun visiting the place and his intentions were to just meet new people. It'll be rather quick she told me (over the weekend). She is trying to save money and he was kind enough to offer. This was the impression. I can't stop her from making her decision, but I can't say I didn't warn her.
  12. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    And how old is your friend? I'm sorry but 'feeling' as though he's a nice guy isn't a very reliable way of figuring out if someone has good intentions or not. To begin with, it's the internet. The only thing she see's to determine whether he is a good guy or not are a bunch of words on a screen, which, let's face it, anyone can fake and whip out of thin air.

    Maybe this guy really is a very nice person, but being the age he is, he should realise that he shouldn't really make such offers to people he barely knows. Especially if it is his parents place. Can't help but think it's slightly too convenient that his parents will be away 'that' weekend (from this I assume they've set a date already?)
  13. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member


    If only you could get through to her, yous. :sad:
  14. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    It does all seem very fishy, the whole thing. And I explained it to her. We talked a lot about it. We saw different scenarios, bad and good. I think she is bent on wanting to get out of her lifestyle for the moment, like a vacation. It's not like she's got anyone to do that for her right now. She's going through hell right now with her family. So in a sense, she told me, she was hoping this was a short trip(even though stranger), it would be like an adventure.

    I can't say I blame her entirely. I know her safety is the #1 concern, but it like I don't want to trap her either. She agrees with a lot of what was said here in the thread, but I hate to see her regretting something that might have just been nothing. Like the guy turned out to be her soulmate or something. I hate for her to regret it. She's gone through some real bad times. And if something wonderful could have happened and I stopped her, I would just hate myself.
  15. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    There's no reason why she can't go along and take a friend with her or stay at a hotel or B&B, though. There are things she can do to ensure she is safe but still be able to meet this guy. If the guy is her soulmate then it will come about in one way or another, regardless of if she goes or not. They'll still have internet communication even if they don't meet under these circumstances, besides. Not meeting him/taking safety measures when she does doesn't mean any possible future with this guy is over.
  16. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    You know you are absolutely right in all accounts. Especially that soulmate sentence there. I mean if they were to be then they are to be. But safety should be upmost important and if the guy liked her enough, he would respect that I would think.
  17. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    "His parents will be away."

    Why do I get the feeling that he wants to do more than talk.
    I remember a story on TV where a girl met a guy online to only find that he was much older and almost got raped.
  18. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Yeah I know right? It's like a perfect scenario...'parents away....invite a girl over....'

    I do know some friends though who spend the night at other friends' houses, but this is that they never met.