I know that ive always been a bit depressed, but life seems to constantly test my strength. Since 1991 i've lost 18 friends and family to various deaths.(Im 34 btw) Everything from Wives murdering them, car accidents, OD's you name it. Its finally gotten to the point i no longer make any effort to make or maintain friendships or relationships. I keep all my emotions bottled up(had a therapist who killed herself. Really. So trusting another is difficult.) and am beginning to think that an empty life is not a life worth continuing. Anyone else feel that they are destined to be alone??