From 1991 till 2005

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by strangerthanfiction, Jun 8, 2008.

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  1. I know that ive always been a bit depressed, but life seems to constantly test my strength. Since 1991 i've lost 18 friends and family to various deaths.(Im 34 btw) Everything from Wives murdering them, car accidents, OD's you name it. Its finally gotten to the point i no longer make any effort to make or maintain friendships or relationships. I keep all my emotions bottled up(had a therapist who killed herself. Really. So trusting another is difficult.) and am beginning to think that an empty life is not a life worth continuing. Anyone else feel that they are destined to be alone??
     
  2. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    Hell yes. I love the movie you named your account after by the way. Anyhow, I never had many friends at all and interactions with people are difficult. It must be horrible to have so many people you're close to and lose them all. Is there anyone you still maintain connections with?
     
  3. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    just because others leave you doesnt mean you are ment to be alone. people are unstable, emotional creatures. if one thing goes completely wrong,they wig out. and just because others did,doesnt mean you are ment to be alone. maybe you havent found the right type of people that belong in your life.
     
  4. I wish it were that easy, but it seems as though the so called "god" has decided in who stays and who goes in my life. And the ones who go are the ones i love the most.
    Itthing- i still talk to a few friends but avoid getting comfortable and dependent on them for companionship. I grow tired of being a loner.
     
  5. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    Hopefully they understand and stand by you. I can see why you have trouble, but you shouldn't have to cope with this alone. I hope maybe the members of SF can be an outlet for you.
     
  6. demonhunter999

    demonhunter999 Well-Known Member

    O_O either you have an extremely large family / friends' list or you are, unfortunately, very unlucky to have so many die...in my life (30 years) i have only had 3 grand parents die and one of my brother's friends - that is all!
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I don't think I'll be better alone, I know I will. I have socialphobia and I live at my sisters house. She is my caregiver. Other wise she watches out for signs of suicide because I am a high risk for it.
    My therapist has me venturing out to different places. I avoid contact with other people. I got a new shrink last week so I get to start all over. I can't understand him when he talks. He doesn't speak english very good.
    As far as isolating, it is not for everyone. I can see how it could affect someone who is social. They would feel they are being detained for no reason. I don't even talk to my sister very much. She wants to understand what i'm going thru but I won't talk to her about it. I don't think any one can fully understand what someone like me is going thru.
    I tell my therapist about my thoughts of suicide and she either ignores what I have said about it. Or she will tell me only thirty percent of ppl who are suicidal actually try it. I think she is full of shit. Don't get me wrong she is a good therapist, she has me doing things I wouldn't even attempt a year ago. She just doesn't want to beleive I am capable of doing it. I have already treid it. I OD'd a couple of years ago.
    She will be in for a rude awakening in about one or two months from now I will do it for sure this next time. After all these years I am ready for it. I made a commitment to my brother, once that is done then I will also be done.
    Sorry I didn't mean to ramble on. I think you are a people person. You need that support you get from others. I think you need to talk to someone about what is happening with you. I take suicide very serious. A person does not say these things if he has really thought it over.
    I can't say it enough times young people need to get a good education now adays. People that don.t get one will steady try to seek advancement at work once they realize the job they are working isn't going to get any better. Employers are looking for people with an education. Think it over, it has to be your decision no one can make it for you!:chopper:
     
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