From Mark the newbie

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by mark1976, May 6, 2016.

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  1. mark1976

    mark1976 Member

    Hello everyone,

    My name is Mark, I've had depression and subsequent medication for almost 20 years. Life has not worked out the way I'd hoped; I'm alone, friendless (visits to my Gran are the focus of my social life). In debt, never had a successful relationship, last one was 8 years ago.

    Being a school teacher used to be my focus, a source of pride, but recently that is going down the tubes too (well it's pretty much gone). Poor lifestyle choices have partially led me to where I am now, they were my choices and I have no one to blame but myself.

    I'm pretty sure that suicide will be the way I will eventually go, but not today. Today, I mainly sat in my chair, found this site and posted.
    I'd do it in a heart-beat, but for the only thing that stops me, is the knowing the effect this would have on my mum. Although I have a poor relationship with my parents, I don't want to destroy my mother, just myself.

    Thanks very much for reading, apologies I wrote quite a bit, I only planned on saying a quick hi. Just reading some of the posts here helps. There are clearly some very caring and nice people here, good on you all.

    thanks again
    Mark
     
    Just Mary likes this.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Mark and welcome to the forums, I am glad you decided to join as there is a lot to gain by being here surrounded by people that understand, relate and care and will tryand help you through this very difficult time. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles but please know there is always hope and you can get through this :) Are you on anti depressants or seeeing a therapist?
     
    mark1976 likes this.
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi @mark1976 and welcome to the forum.

    I really hope you find this forum and the chatrooms to be supportive.

    I'm sorry about your troubles; it sounds like you've been dealing with a few things.
    But please do try not to give up, there is always another option other than suicide. I hope you manage to get some more help. Have you had therapy to help you deal?
     
    sahel and mark1976 like this.
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    mark1976 likes this.
  5. mark1976

    mark1976 Member

    Thanks ever so much for replying, this is the 1 positive for my day. I've been on the max dose of mirtazapine for longer than I can remember. Prior to that I had seroxat and a few of the 'older gen meds' as well. I've had therapy in the form of CBT and also proper counselling. They did help at the time, but was years ago.
    Thanks for your message, it meant a lot to me today :)

    Mark
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi again hun,

    I used to take mirtazapine and im famous here for it curing my depression lol, but seriously it did cure me of depression, well i believe it did anyway, it's an amazing drug. It's not for everyone but hey everyone reacts differently to certain meds. I wish you the best of luck on your road to recovery. I think you should go back to counselling. It can make a huge difference to your quality of life and will relieve certain symptoms. No need to thank me, you being here and fighting this is thanks enough ((hugs))
     
    mark1976 likes this.
  7. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I am saddened by your post but are among friends here who care about anyone suffering. You are important and please refrain from doing anything. You fight your feelings everyday but some days you are fine and others days you feel low.
    You need to speak to you doctor and see if there is any alternative treatment. Please keep posting here as we can help you when you feel low. You can see that from the responses that we care about YOU.

    Please keep posting and most important be safe.
     
    mark1976 likes this.
  8. mark1976

    mark1976 Member

    Thank you so much for your kind words. This forum literally helped me get through last night. I will keep posting. Best wishes.
     
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi and welcome. I'm so glad the site was able to help you. I hope you continue to post here. :) And I also hope you'll consider talking to a doctor, maybe starting up therapy again and possibly getting your meds adjusted. There's help out there, and you deserve that help.
     
    mark1976 likes this.
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Welcome aboard. Being a teacher is not easy but I applaud any teachers! Good luck figuring things out.
     
    mark1976 likes this.
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