This is harder than I thought, I was thinking for a good way to start this but I guess there isn't. Guess I'll start my telling something about myself. I'm a 22 year old male. I love my parents and my only brother more than anything. I have a good circle of friends. I live in a good country living-wise and technically I aint got nothing to be suicidal about. But I am. But in reality, I hurt so much inside I hate myself. I recently moved back to my parents because I lost my job and cant afford living on my own (I find this embarrassing, being 22-years old), I've applied to university every year for the past 3 years so I could get an education... I've felt short every time. I'm applying as we speak but I'm so afraid that once again, I will let everyone down. I've been bullied for most of my life (safe to say from age 7 to present) for being short (161cm) and everytime I ignore that one at the club making remarks at me or everytime I just turn away and tell myself "now now, be cool, things will work out", I feel even more miserable. I'm a failure on so many levels. I'm fairly intelligent but I guess I'm lazy. One more reason to hate myself, my lack of faith in everything I do... I'm a massive underachiever. Not to mention that the only person who could help me cope with my life was my beautiful girlfriend, but she left me 3 weeks ago. I miss her so much. My problems are minimal, I know. Girlfriend left me... no worries, time will heal. Studying... If I put my full-potential to it, I would make it. Finances, no biggies, there are other job opportunities, I could make a living. But I'm so tired, I'm so fed up with my life. I'm depressed over trivial things in life and it angers me. How long I've felt like this? I've been 'slightly' depressed for a longer period of time, but recently I feel like that all the problems I've managed to pull through are piling up me on once. First I was thinking about suicide, just as a way to amuse myself. "How would they react? Will anyone miss me? Would it be painful?". All this eventually lead to my current situation. I see opportunities and it scares me. I love my family so much, a part of me says that YOU CANT DO IT. I'm afraid of the pain. When I go for a ride if I cant sleep, I wish that someone would come and kill me because I cant do it myself. I drive faster than it's safe. I wish a deer cross the street. I wish the bypassing truck would lose control. I wish someone else would do it for me, and it scares me. But now I'm sitting here, it's late. I feel so hopeless. I cant keep my head straight and I know if I wanted do die right now, I would go to the basement, xxxxxx and my death would look like a natural cause. I'm sorry for rambling and pouring my guts out but I feel like that I should just die, I'm a burden. Long story short, I want to die.