Often times, when I get really depressed, I just let myself get filled with hate. I don't just want to die, I want everyone to die. Sometimes I imagine myself going into work and just blowing everyone away with a shotgun until there is only one shot left, for me. I want to at least tell everyone what I think about them, but that would probably get me fired. There is a girl I work with that I really like, today I sort of hinted at my feelings for her and she sort of hinted at shutting me down. It made me want to hurt her, emotionally, make her cry. I could think of plenty things to say to her that would have done the trick, and then I'd lick the tears off her pretty face. But I can't bring myself to dropping the mask, and I went on smiling and acting like nothing was effecting me. I just talked shit about her boyfriend instead, but I don't think it really bothered her. But now I'll probably get to deal with him, after she tells him. Should be interesting.