Life for me started out like every other child. I was happy, playful, and fearless. I love to learn about the world and exploring various object around my house. As a kid, I was confidence, carefree and very social. Soon did I know that my world would turn upside down in only a few years. I came into this world as a mistake, one that would cause me pain and torture for the next 12 years. I was born with my lip sticking out and everyone would make fun of me. Everyone would call me "big lip" and it wasn't long before people started to bully me. No ONE wanted to be my friend and I was the center of rumor. Instead of having a normal school experience, everyday was a test of my survival and endurance. It only got worst from then on, in middle school I got beat up almost daily at school by my own personal bully and his friends. I even got beat up in class without the teacher doing anything to break it up. Hell it didn't stop until I got out of high school. I was the target, I was the weak and shy kid. With my lip not fix until my freshman year of high school I continue to be an outcast. Fast-forward by this time everyone is social and outgoing and I had became my worst nightmare. I was no longer outgoing, playful, carefree but weak and shy. The only good memories out of high school is the fact that I almost had a girlfriend and by this time I had braces so it fix my lip but end up with another unknown consequences. The truth was fear of being known as an outcast prevent me from being her boyfriend because I was so a shame of what I could not control. A few months after leaving her I had develop social anxiety and have been suffering thought most of college until I manage to face my fear and got help. Fast-foward to recently and I don't even remember what it was like to be social or carefree. I really don't. Even in college I am still an outcast, a person who has never ever had friends in his life. It drive me crazy day in and day out and I almost lost my mind and wanted to end it all but after suffering for so long their is no point in dying. Living for me is dying so therefore it is like I am already dead. I'm a third year in college and despite my best effort to makes friends and change my life around, too much damage has already be done. I had high hope (perhaps fool hopes?) that college would be the fresh start I been waiting all my life and then I develop social anxiety, which prevented me from even making friends and the people who wanted to be my friends I ignore them and that what social anxiety does to you. Yes despite all of this horror, the worst thing to happen to me is my unablity to smile. I have a physical handicap or surgeon would say birth defect that prevent me from smiling properly and prevent me from laughing and is also preventing me from being outgoing, social, and most importantly having that special someone. It also make me feel like a beast, a different and lower form of a human being and because of it I doubt I'll ever meet someone special nor will I make friends. I hate being alone, and I have a few chances with some very attractive ladies but if I had a smile I am 100% sure I wouldn't be single by now. Now I don't know whether I am curse, but I am truly extremely unlucky. Thank You for reading. I made it as short as possible.