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Frozen in fear

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Maniae, Jul 6, 2016.

  1. Maniae

    Maniae Well-Known Member

    It's like I'm in a state of constant fear. When I sleep I dream of horrific events.
    When I'm awake, my heart races like doom is coming for me.
    I can't breathe, my thoughts are scattered and I hear many voices all talking at once.
    I can't seem to escape this.
    What is this? How do I make it stop? Do I embrace it or try to figure out why it's happening?
    So many questions. Unanswered. Maybe no answer to.
    It hurts yet I deserve it. But why do I deserve it? My head throbs like I'm being hit repeatedly with a sledgehammer. But I deserve it, don't I?
    Where is joy? Where is happiness?
    How do I make peace? Is this happening for a reason? If so, what is the reason? It's reoccurring. When it happens I can't pinpoint why it could be happening. My dreams are vivid. There's a faceless being always there.
    Who is it? What does it want? What does it want.from me? Do I awake before it can show me? Am I subconsciously running from it so I wake up before finding out ?
    I'm so confused. I'm so tired. How do I make it go away?
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Are you seeing a psychiatrist? You shouldn't have to live like that in this day and age, pleas seek professional help. And keep talking to us here, we will listen and want the best for you. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. What gives you even a tiny bit of relief? Can you think of anything at all?