why am i here?.. what purpose does my existence serve in the grand scheme of things?.. or for that, in any scheme of things? i dont want to move the earth off its axis.. quite the opposite.. would be more than happy just living.. i am not living.. i am just existing.. i just am.. unlike the little pebble on a shore, i feel... but again, just like that chip of stone, the waves pound me relentlessly.. again and again.. grinding me down with every blow.. will i crumble?.. will i fade away?.. will i cease to be?.. i certainly hope so... but right now.. Im frozen. The castle of ice i live in is beautiful, cold, unfeeling. The barriers around my heart are delicate, strong, unyielding... Banished myself to solitude, i do not live but exist.. like dew drops on a lily which an ice maiden has kissed. What warmth can i seek here, what love, when warmth is my world's bane?.. These silent walls speak so loud, against any hope, profane.. Extinguished thus in the dark i am, probably will be forevermore, Till i melt away into an ocean of sorrow, but am frozen by the lonely shore... yusra.