Frustrated about finances

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by elvinchild, Jul 29, 2009.

  1. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    This is pretty silly but I want to get it out somewhere. I'm planning on moving in with my boyfriend in a couple months, and I really don't know how to deal with the financial situation. The truth is I'm frustrated at how much he wants to charge me for rent, because it just doesn't make sense. I know his last girlfriend lived with him for free, and his roommate after that only paid $400... he's asking me to pay $500 plus utilities. To top it all off, my room is an attic with no heat and it gets extremely hot in the summer / cold in the winter. It probably bothers me too because with my last boyfriend only charged me $200 a month sharing a room and it was $425 plus utilities for having my own room - and that was for a nice room that was actually in the house. In the area I live, you can rent a room plus shared use of a house for $300-400 easily.

    So basically I don't understand why he raised the price so much for me compared to the other people he lived with, and it just seems like a pretty high price anyway. But when he told me thats how much he expected from me, I didn't argue I just accepted it. And now I'm finding myself upset and slighted. How do I fix this problem before things start to fester and I wind up bitter? Is there some way I can see it in a different light? It would make sense to talk to him about it, but I think if I did he'd think that the only reason I wanted to move in with him was so I could get by with less bills.

    More than anything, its that I can't afford the rent at his house or anywhere else unless I manage to get a lot more hours at work than I'm getting, and I have such a problem working with my bipolar/bpd/ptsd/social anxiety/lyme disease/scoliosis UGH that I want to kill myself just because of work itself. I feel like I'm just not able to get by in life, because I can't afford it and I can't handle the stress of working through it, and lets face it, there's really no help out there.... so I don't have much choice but to die. I guess I just wish he would help me out a little. Or that it didn't seem so unfair, like why did he favor his last girlfriend and his friend that lived with him after that? UGH help!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 29, 2009
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sounds like alot of money for a room and utilities I would just tell him no way i can't afford this show him what you earn and tell him what you can afford.
    If he is not okay with that then don't move in. Stay where you can afford it If he truly cares about you he will see your earnings and work with you from that take care
  3. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    As Mary says, it's sound like a lot of money. Usually when a boyfriend/girlfriend move in together common sense dictates that it's split 50/50. Even though you have an emotional tie to this guy, don't let him take advantage of you, it could possibly spell problems for later in the relationship.
  4. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    Just say "no way".
  5. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    Did I mention he originally offered it for 300 and then he suddenly raised it when I told him I would actually like to move in?!?!

    Sorry still riled up about this... I guess I really gotta talk to him.
  6. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Talk to him about it asap, the longer you wait the more bitter you will get. This is something you CANT ignore. When you say "my room" do you mean you guys will not be sharing a room? Why not share a room and make it even cheaper? Either way 500 plus utilities is rediculous...
  7. Tray

    Tray Well-Known Member

    just ask for the bills. He'll if I was gonna live with someone I would want to see the all the bills.. Rent and utilities ... And from that work out how much should be paid. Yada yada... So on.. If its your boyfriend u should be splitting bill 50 50.

    Just ask for the bills is my point. If he says no then don't pay. Don't let him walk all over you.
  8. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    That's pretty ridiculous, don't even entertain the thought of working extra hours because you don't have to. He's ripping you off, let him know you think that's way too high, especially when his last girlfriend stayed for free, and there's no way in hell you're paying that much for a room in the attic. 50/50 is a given but if it's your boyfriend of all people, honestly it should be a lot less on your end if he's the one deciding who pays what.