I'm just so frustrated these days. Someone I know. We were going to plan a trip together in the US during the coming week. I feel embarrased to say I was excited about it. I really wanted to plan for it and during the past two weeks I've been trying to reach her but she keeps blowing it off. I would think that she would also make the effort to get in contact too, especially as the week approached, but nothing. She apologizes for the delay saying she's been busy, but isn't a trip that's coming up next week almost a priority to get planned? I mean plane tickets skyrocket etc. the closer you get and we live in separate cities so it would require some coordination. I'm tired of being treated like I'm second rate. I haven't been the perfect friend, but when we've spoken I've always been there for her. But to her, I'm like a flipping television. No ifs, ands, buts, gotta gos, just boom she goes offline or she just doesn't respond. I understand I'm not part of her friend circle in real life, but I'm not a video game that you just turn off, ignore or something when ur bored or have something else u'd rather do. When you talk to friends in real life, you give them your attention or ask to be excused if something has come up. Just cause I'm online she doesn't extend me the same courtesy. And it hurts. I don't want to be someone second rate. I want to be treated like a friend, a friend in real life. I'm embarassed that I feel this way. The trip, its nothing to her. Its probably the only thing I've looked forward to in a while. I've waited to see if she'd come online, checked these bloody forums multiple times a day. Its embarassing because there are totally different vibes coming from her. Unhappy, frustrated. I feel like someone is pointing the finger at me and saying "I told you so" or "What did you expect." This is how its always been and its how its going to be. She can say sorry a hundred times, but anyone can say sorry online. Saying sorry is easy. But you can say it, or you can show it by changing your behaviour. In real life, you'd show it to keep your friendships. I've just been a bit of a nut, staying her friend I guess, even though she never shows it. Wow, I just had a revelation. Am I the idiot for always pursuing her?