Went to see therapist today she recommended i contact my pdoc and be admitted and recommended me getting ect. i try to contact her but she never returned the call and i left her a message that it was urgent b/c i was suicidal. Whats the use of having a pdoc if they never return your call, especially when its urgent and your suicidal. I realize i see her tomorrow but i really needed to go in the hospital today. my thoughts are getting out of control. i'm spiraling down further and further. now i have to wait till tomorrow. i hope i can make it till then. i'm so frustrated. i feel like i'm trying to reach out and she just slapped me in the face. i can't take much more. tonight's going to be a long night.