I know there are people here who think taking mental health medication is a good thing, but I don't. I also know that there are some here who when they are at their darkest moments, will feel being committed in a hospital is a good option. But I don't. I have dealt with the mental health system for half my life and it has been a whirlwind of bullshit for the most part. When I was first put on medication nearly 16 years ago, I was 15 and the side effects were terrible. I never felt like myself and I tried to tell the doctor this as well as my mother, and both just brushed it off as nothing. Don't get me wrong, I think there needs to be a mental health system. However, I think it's very broken and many times, just wrong in so many ways in how they treat people. The psychiatrists I have encountered were lazy and unprofessional. I don't buy into the bullshit that all they are qualified to do is give someone pills. To me when they say that, they come off as nothing more than drug dealers with a degree on their wall. But what's worse than the system is family. My family has done a lot for me, and I appreciate that. However, there have been times when they have been extremely toxic, especially when it comes to my mental health journey. Many times they think they are "helping" when they are doing more harm. When I used to take meds, all my actions revolved around whether I took my medication that day. I find this to not only be unfair, but to be hypocritical coming from them. I come from a family of people set in their own ways and never change those ways. It's discouraging, because even though I am not a good person, I work on myself to better my life. There's more, but overall, I just feel so frustrated and tired of feeling like everyone else's voice when it comes to my own life matters more than my own voice. And no, I can not just up and leave where I am at or completely cut my family off as I do not have the resources to do that, so please don't suggest that. Sorry for rambling and for this being so long.