Frustrated

I'm so sick of everything. I'm depressed. I think about killing myself all the time. I can't stop hurting myself. There is no help. I've tried everything. I'm so angry and frustrated. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't feel like I can trust my view of things because there is always conflict around me that I don't understand. I don't see myself causing it, but there's no other logical explanation. The conflict must be because of me. I've tried medication to help with the depression and suicidal feelings, I've done therapy. There's just nothing else. And I'm so stupid. I keep holding on to a shred of hope, thinking that I just need to get some help, that someone can help me. And then every time, I get beaten into the ground again when I realize that nothing is helping and nothing will help. I can't fix my life, I can't fix myself. The doctors can't fix me, my family can't fix me. I don't know what to do. I'm so incredibly frustrated. I really can't stop hurting myself. I have cuts and bruises all over my body. I wanted to kill myself today. I'm completely messed up. And there's no solution.

 

I know you see no hope but that is part of the illness it get you to see that way when infact there is hope You said you tried meds they did not work try new meds then out there get you doctor to listen to you therapy try a different type of therapy ok there are so many to try also there are other treatments for depression hun talk to your doctor get your doctor to listen and to step up and help you If doc is not helping then you get a new doc that doe hear You go to hospital when you critically low and you get the help the support YOU DESERVE ok hugs

 

I've been to the hospital, and it only made things worse. I've tried everything. I ran out of my medication and I don't know if I'll make the effort to get the doctor to call in a refill. I don't want to take it. I'm tired of not knowing what's going on. I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know if I have a doctor or if I'll have a therapist again, I don't know if I'll have access to the medication, I don't know if I want to continue with any of this. I'm so stupid for continuing to care. I need to just give up.