Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by faithgone, Mar 10, 2014.

  1. faithgone

    faithgone Member

    To me, it is worse missing someone who is still alive than it is to miss someone who no longer is. I've heard people say that when someone is dead, there's no changing anything, nothing can be done to make things better. What if nothing can be done to make things better anyway? I have an older sister. She has bipolar disorder and has severe mood swings. She can be happy one second and getting a knife to throw at you the next (yes, literally). It is because of this that I avoid her like the plague. And when I do see her, I won't say anything that she may not want to hear. But it gets hard to keep my mouth shut. This sister has four kids, all of them in foster homes. One lives with my mom. That kid is now four years old and starting to be a pain in the ass. She will hit you, kick you, and call you ever name in the book from butthead to motherf***er. But then my sister comes around and she keeps saying how she's the baby's mom, so she can't treat her that way. Yea, this sister gave birth to the kid, but she only will see her when SHE wants to and when it's convenient for HER. I babysit this kid every other weekend. She calls me at least one name a night every time she sees me. Her mother sees her once a month. And then when she comes to my parents' house to see THE BABY, she will spend the whole time nagging people to drive her to the store or the bar or to get cigarettes. I know she is the baby's mother, but I seriously think the title "Mom" should be EARNED. My sister does not have a place to live because no one will take her in because of her anger. But when she's angry it's everyone else's fault not hers. She will spend the day walking around town blowing all her money on restaurants and drugs when she doesn't have food in her house. But she expects my Ma to give her money whenever she wants it. She breaks her phone pretty much every month and has to buy a new one. Then she will not have money for her meds, food, or rent. But she HAS to have a phone. And it's never her fault she got angry, it's the other person's fault for triggering her. It really frustrates me that she doesn't even have money for basic necessities but she will swear, kick, and scream when my Mom won't give her money for a phone.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is awful hun i am sorry your sister takes advantage of your mother like that. You mom needs to set up some boundaries if she is to come and visit her child The child i hope can get into see a therapist to teach her at a young age how to deal with her anger and not emanate her mother A child only learns from what it sees and hears maybe even have a restraining order for your sister that says she can only come to visit her child if she is civil and is not manipulating everyone hugs to you
  3. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    While it will be up to your mother to actually do something about it, there are things she can do if she chooses to. If the child is actually a placement through social services foster care then there is a case worker. Have your mom get the case work involved and ask for supervised visitations only. The case worker will then set the visitation appts and there will be somebody there to monitor the visit to ensure it is for the intended purpose only. While this is very very common in non-relative placements, many times relatives do not even know this is an option as they did not do the foster parent training that is required for a non-relative. Whether this is something your mother would consider asking for is another issue. If she asks the right way though and the case worker is decent, the case worker can put it across as being their decision and not your mothers. A mentioned above also, make sure the case worker arranges mental health services for the child as well. Family placements often get overlooked in the system unless somebody actually makes a point of asking for the services.