To me, it is worse missing someone who is still alive than it is to miss someone who no longer is. I've heard people say that when someone is dead, there's no changing anything, nothing can be done to make things better. What if nothing can be done to make things better anyway? I have an older sister. She has bipolar disorder and has severe mood swings. She can be happy one second and getting a knife to throw at you the next (yes, literally). It is because of this that I avoid her like the plague. And when I do see her, I won't say anything that she may not want to hear. But it gets hard to keep my mouth shut. This sister has four kids, all of them in foster homes. One lives with my mom. That kid is now four years old and starting to be a pain in the ass. She will hit you, kick you, and call you ever name in the book from butthead to motherf***er. But then my sister comes around and she keeps saying how she's the baby's mom, so she can't treat her that way. Yea, this sister gave birth to the kid, but she only will see her when SHE wants to and when it's convenient for HER. I babysit this kid every other weekend. She calls me at least one name a night every time she sees me. Her mother sees her once a month. And then when she comes to my parents' house to see THE BABY, she will spend the whole time nagging people to drive her to the store or the bar or to get cigarettes. I know she is the baby's mother, but I seriously think the title "Mom" should be EARNED. My sister does not have a place to live because no one will take her in because of her anger. But when she's angry it's everyone else's fault not hers. She will spend the day walking around town blowing all her money on restaurants and drugs when she doesn't have food in her house. But she expects my Ma to give her money whenever she wants it. She breaks her phone pretty much every month and has to buy a new one. Then she will not have money for her meds, food, or rent. But she HAS to have a phone. And it's never her fault she got angry, it's the other person's fault for triggering her. It really frustrates me that she doesn't even have money for basic necessities but she will swear, kick, and scream when my Mom won't give her money for a phone.